Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)
Everybody Hates Keisha (2005)
Chris Rock: Narrator
Quotes
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Chris Rock : My father didn't like other women in the house for the same reason he didn't like guns in the house. Even with the safety on, somebody could get killed.
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Chris Rock : Usually when Tanya says she was telling that meant I was getting in trouble, but I didn't care All I wanted to do was slap the black off of Drew.
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Chris Rock : I didn't know a lot of girls who had boyfriends. Babies, yes, but not boyfriends.
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Chris Rock : I felt better than Billy Dee Williams after a case of malt liquor.
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Rochelle : CHRIS!
Chris Rock : My mom was so loud, every Chris in Brooklyn could hear her.
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Greg Wuliger : [to Chris] Oh, man. Keisha? Right in your living room?
Chris : Yeah. And she said, "Hi, Chris."
Greg Wuliger : Oh, man. You are so in there.
Chris : You think so?
Greg Wuliger : Yeah. I mean, she didn't just say "hi." She initiated the "hi."
Chris : Whoa. I never thought of it like that.
Greg Wuliger : Man, you got to get a condom.
Chris Rock : It'd be 2 years before I knew what a condom was and 8 years before I got to use one.
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Chris Rock : Back at school, Greg camped out for me like I was a new "Star Wars" movie.
Greg Wuliger : [to Chris] Hey, where were you?
Chris : I was at class.
Greg Wuliger : At class? I've been waiting here for 15 minutes.
Chris : I told you to wait at my locker.
Greg Wuliger : You weren't at your locker.
Chris : I'm at it now.
Greg Wuliger : But you weren't then!
Chris : Greg.
[two girls look at them and walk away]
Chris : Too close.
Chris Rock : There goes two more girls we're never going to get.
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Chris : [after catching Drew kiss Keisha] What's wrong with you?
Drew : What?
Chris : You knew I like Keisha. Now you're up here kissing her?
Drew : I didn't even know you liked her. And besides, I wasn't kissing her. She was kissing me.
Chris Rock : He used that same excuse with a woman's husband 10 years later and it worked.
