Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Debra's Sick (1997)

Ray Romano: Ray Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Debra Barone : Well Ray, Your mom's here.

  Ray Barone : I thought she could come by and she could help you with the kids while I'm at my big meeting. Isn't that a good idea?

  Debra Barone : I have an idea. How about I bite your nose really hard?

• Dr. Hammond : [in doctors office]  it's been quite a while.

  Ray Barone : That's 'cause Deborah loves this part of being a parent. Hey look does this phone dial out?

  Dr. Hammond : Why, is everything all right?

  Ray Barone : Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking of calling the guy who left with my career. You know what though? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I just want the kids to get better. That's all. Don't worry. Daddy's here, okay.

  Dr. Hammond : Now, that's good. You know sometimes I need a little help restraining the children when I'm examining them.

  Ray Barone : Restraining the children? You are a real doctor, right?

  Dr. Hammond : How are you feeling, Ally?

  Ally Barone : Crummy.

  Ray Barone : Oh, she upgraded herself. This morning she was icky.

  Dr. Hammond : What has she been eating lately?

  Ray Barone : Oh uh... Good things. Lots of... lots of green stuff. Sometimes hot and sometimes cold. Debra.. Debra does that mostly.

  Dr. Hammond : What about her sleeping habits?

  Ray Barone : Oh, that, I know. I know that cause I read her a book and I tuck her in right about 8:00. Well if I'm not at the game.

  [the doctor looks at him] 

  Ray Barone : Working. Working. I'm a sports writer, you know.

  Dr. Hammond : Oh that's right. That's right. I remember. No what I meant does she wake up a lot during the night?

  Ray Barone : I'm a pretty heavy sleeper you know. So it's kind of like that tree falling in the forest thing. You know? But I read her the books. And I send her the duck song, right, honey? Little ducks big ducks lots of swinging ducks.

  Dr. Hammond : You have a lovely voice.

  [Listening to Ally's heartbeeps] 

  Dr. Hammond : Deep breath. She's been around a lot of children who are sick?

  Ray Barone : Yes in your waiting room. Oh, god. It's like a hot zone out there I'll tell you.

  Dr. Hammond : I meant the children she plays with.

  Ray Barone : Well, Debra, she arranges the playdates. But then I go and pick her up, right? Sometimes.

  Ally Barone : When your home.

  Dr. Hammond : You sound like a typical dad.

  Ray Barone : No, no, no. I'm a very good dad. Yeah I go on the road a lot. But then when I come home then they're all mine right? Like what did we do last week? What we do? We went to the video store, we got you your favorite video. That's why they like it when it's Daddy's day. But my wife only lets them watch it once. You know I let them watch that as many times they want. They love it. Oh, its great. And they can sit in front of that thing for hours. Right? We have fun don't we? And Ally's favorite video? "The Little Mermaid."

  Ally Barone : No. "Beauty and the Beast."

  Ray Barone : Right. It's the same thing.

  Dr. Hammond : Ally, honey, I'm gonna take a look in your ears now, okay?

  Ray Barone : Okay.

  Dr. Hammond : Hold her for me

  Ray Barone : Yeah, it's all right now. It's okay doctors making me do this. This is the doctor's fault okay? Daddy is still a great man.

  Dr. Hammond : Here we go.

  Ray Barone : That's it all done.

  Dr. Hammond : Go get yourself a lollipop. Ally seemed to have a touch of the flu.

  Ray Barone : Yes.

  Dr. Hammond : Let's see how little Michael is doing.

  Ray Barone : That's.. I'm pretty sure that's going to be the same thing too. You know they've got the same fever, same sniffles, same crumminess. Believe me I know these kids.

  Dr. Hammond : Mr Barone, Michael seems fine to me.

  Ray Barone : That's impossible.

  Dr. Hammond : No. I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with that child.

  Ray Barone : What are you talking about? This morning..

  [Robert comes in carrying Michael as Ray mixed him up with Geoffrey]