- Robert Barone: You guys have any Maalox or something?
- Debra Barone: What's the matter Robert? Did you eat something bad?
- Robert Barone: I'm a cop and I live with my parents. I'm on a steady diet of human suffering.
- Debra Barone: Ally it's dinnertime honey.
- Ray Barone: See? For the kids it'd be great. A pet.
- Debra Barone: Ally already has a hamster.
- Ray Barone: Hamster. You can't play catch with a hamster. Well, you can but the hamster doesn't look forward to it.
- Debra Barone: Ray, you know I love dogs but the last thing we need is something else that eats and poops.
- Ray Barone: Okay, I'll stop doing one of those.
- Ally Barone: What's that?
- Ray Barone: Sweetie it's a doggie. Isn't he great?
- Ally Barone: He smells.
- Ray Barone: [to Debra] She says that about the twins and we keep them.
- Phyllis: This dog was good for one thing and now he's broken!
- Robert Barone: [Defensive] Don't talk about him like that!
- Frank Barone: [Robert gives Ray the dog to give back to Phyllis] You gave him back? What about the two-hundred bucks we just spent to have him fixed?