- Tootie Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett, Jo's trying to kill our squirrel again!
- Jo Polniaczek: Well, what do you expect me to do? Enroll it in class?
- Tootie Ramsey: Jo, you can't hurt that squirrel. Don't you know he's one of...
- Jo Polniaczek: One of God's creatures. Well, he's on my turf! I don't go into his forest. Face it, he bought it when he crossed my window ledge!
- Blair Warner: Come on, slave week is supposed to be fun. Just think, you buy an upper classman and she's your slave for three whole days!
- Tootie Ramsey: Blair, this may come as a shock to you, but slavery is not one of my favorite things.
- Blair: [opens the window] What a gorgeous evening. 'The moon was but a chin of gold a night or two ago. And now she turns her perfect face upon the world below'. The Moon, Emily Dickinson.
- Jo Polniaczek: [shuts the window suddenly] It's freezing. Jo Polniaczek.
- Natalie Green: AAAAHHHH! LIGHTS, TOOTIE, LIGHTS!
- Tootie Ramsey: What is it?
- Natalie Green: Something just crawled up my leg!
- Tootie Ramsey: Wishful thinking. Go to sleep.
- Natalie Green: No, Tootie, I saw it, something huge, like a racoon or a rat!
- Blair: Don't be ridiculous.
- Natalie Green: I saw it jump off my bed and scamper across the room. We're being overrun, it's the day of the animals!
- Tootie Ramsey: Take it easy, it's probably just a cute little squirrel. They're always running around the yard.
- Natalie Green: I'm out of here.
- Tootie Ramsey: Natalie, hey, relax. If there is a squirrel in here, all we have to do is leave the window open. He'll find his way out again.
- Natalie Green: Not good enough, move over.
- [climbs into the top bunk with Tootie]
- Tootie Ramsey: What? There's no room!
- Natalie Green: I don't want some hideous creature...
- Tootie Ramsey: God's creatures!
- Natalie Green: Great. I don't want one of God's creatures hibernating in my nightie. Now move over!
- [last lines]
- Edna Garrett: Can you imagine what that family thinks of Americans after tonight? They'll probably go back to France and never want to visit the United States again.
- Edna Garrett: [Begins smiling maliciously after a pause] Boy. That squirrel really flew out of the box, didn't it?
- Natalie Green: [all the girls begin smiling] Zoom.
- Jo Polniaczek: Flew through the air like Evil Knievel.
- Tootie Ramsey: And did you see the way Marie jumped on that table and refused to come down?
- Edna Garrett: SHE flew through the air like Evil Knievel!
- Jo Polniaczek: [in camouflage dress] I've had it with that hairy little creep!
- Edna Garrett: Oh, you shouldn't fight with Blair when she's sick!
- Jo Polniaczek: That squirrel chewed up my best biker gloves! This means war!