- Jo Polniaczek: [as Blair and Dina preen and gush] I think I just stumbled into a Farrah Fawcett convention.
- Blair Warner: How's your friend... Rocky?
- Jo Polniaczek: JESSE... she's okay, the same...
- Blair Warner: Becker hasn't changed much either.
- Jo Polniaczek: [all casual, traveling light with only a rucksack] Okay, Blair, I'm all set.
- Blair Warner: Jo, we're visiting New York for the weekend... not going on maneuvers.
- Jo Polniaczek: That's right, Blair. The weekend. Two days. Forty-eight hours. Doesn't that tell you anything?
- Blair Warner: Yeah, I forgot my backup hair dryer! I'll be right back!
- [rushes off to go fetch]
- Jo Polniaczek: [to Blair] And you're so spoiled that if you were milk, the date on the carton would read B.C.
- Blair Warner: [explaining why she is late] It's a wonder I got here at all. My cab driver got into an argument with a policeman's horse.
- Jesse: Long time no see!
- Jo Polniaczek: Aw!
- Jesse: Hey, you look a little thin. Don't they feed you up at that school? I can't...
- Blair Warner: [not to be forgotten] Hmm hmm hmm.
- Jo Polniaczek: Oh, wow. Jesse, this is... uh, someone who goes to my school. Blair Warner.
- Jesse: Hi.
- [shakes Blair's hand]
- Blair Warner: Hello.
- [Jesse turns back towards Jo]
- Dina Becker: [not to be forgotten either] Hmm hmm hmm hmm.
- Jo Polniaczek: [as Jesse looks at Dina impatiently] This is, uh, her friend here, Princess Di.
- Dina Becker: [as Jesse bothers to go over and shake her hand as well] Dina Becker.
- Blair Warner: [patronising tone] So you're Jesse? Jo's told me so much about you.
- Jesse: Oh, yeah, same here.
- [turns her head back to Jo]
- Jesse: You weren't kidding, were you?
- [Jo chuckles]
- Dina Becker: Jesse and Jo? Did you two ride with the Dalton gang?
- [gets glared at]
- Jesse: Hey!
- [Asian guy bumped against her]
- Jesse: Watch it! Boat people! Seems you can't turn around without bumping into half the cast of Shogun.
- Blair Warner: And I suppose your family came over on the Mayflower?
- [sits down next to them]
- Blair Warner: Don't you know? New York is a melting pot.
- [big idealistic smile]
- Blair Warner: Different people from different places. We should try to make them feel at home.
- Jo Polniaczek: [to Jesse] Blair likes to think of herself as hostess to the world.
- Blair Warner: [shakes her head] I simply speak the international language.
- Jo Polniaczek: Yeah,
- [nods]
- Jo Polniaczek: shopping! A day with Blair is like going up San Juan Hill. Every time you turn around, she's yelling "Charge!"
- [imitates cavalry comnander]
- Dina Becker: Speaking of charging, have I got the weekend planned. There is not one store in Manhattan that we will not be giving some serious attention to.
- Jesse: [sarcastic] Oh, they're going shopping. How divine!
- [smirks at the two rich kids]
- Blair Warner: [returns the favor] And what are you two planning this weekend? Knocking over a few candy stores?
- [big fake grin]
- Jesse: How would you like to gargle eggshells, sweetheart?
- [turns back to Jo, and tells her what she'd like to do:]
- Jesse: You know, check out the old neighborhood.
- Blair Warner: Oh, yeah!
- Blair Warner: Be careful, girls.
- [pretend serious]
- Blair Warner: Remember, it's a jungle out there.
- Jesse: It's about to be a jungle in here if you don't watch your mouth, Miss Clairol!
- Blair Warner: [shakes her head] Don't you threaten me.
- Dina Becker: Honest, Blair. This one's right out of the sweat hogs...!
- Jesse: You're asking for it, Barbie doll!
- Blair Warner: [rising to her feet] I'll thank you not to take that tone with my friend!
- Jo Polniaczek: [rising to her feet as well] She'll *take* whatever *tone* she wants with your
- [derisive tone:]
- Jo Polniaczek: friend!
- Dina Becker: How de classe. Oh, that means "low."
- Jesse: In your ear! That means "in your ear!*
- Blair Warner: Little words from little minds.
- Jo Polniaczek: Just whose mind are you calling "little," muffin-head?
- Blair Warner: Hers. And don't you call me names, you grungy grease-monkey!
- Jesse: Why don't you go to a garbage dump and turn yourself in?
- Dina Becker: [furiously] Why don't you... turn blue?
- [said as if it's the worst insult in the world]
- Blair Warner: That's telling her, Dina.
- Jo Polniaczek: Come on, Jesse, let's blow.
- Blair Warner: No, you don't. We'll bolt first.
- Dina Becker: [entering kitchen after some hectic shopping] Hildy! Hildy!
- Blair Warner: What a wonderful way to spend Saturday morning. Breakfast at the Plaza...
- [Dina is reading a note left by Hildy]
- Blair Warner: and the doorman, Mr. Johnson, remembering me after all this time! I'm having a lovely day!
- Dina Becker: I'm going to be ill.
- Blair Warner: What is it?
- Dina Becker: Hildy's had to run off. She lost a filling or something. What am I supposed to do now? I've got a whole crowd coming over for luncheon, and positively nothing to serve. Honestly, the selfishness of some people!
- Blair Warner: We'll make something ourselves.
- Dina Becker: [smirking] Very funny, Warner. What *are* we going to do?
- Blair Warner: [dismissive about this 'emergency'] We'll throw together a tuna salad or something.
- Dina Becker: I beg your pardon?
- [eyes wide]
- Blair Warner: Tuna. You've heard of tuna fish?
- [Dina clearly hadn't]
- Blair Warner: It's like... welfare sturgeon.
- [nods]
- Blair Warner: You must have some in the house.
- Dina Becker: Well, if we do, chances are it's for the cat.
- [Blair finds tin]
- Dina Becker: Really, Warner, you're not seriously suggesting that we...
- [chuckles]
- Dina Becker: that is you and I... prepare lunch for our friends?
- Blair Warner: Oh... why not?
- Dina Becker: [chuckles] Oh, Warner...!
- [arm around Blair's shoulder]
- Dina Becker: You always were the one to try anything once. Making lunch.
- [laughs]
- Dina Becker: That's so cute.
- [laughs some more]
- Blair Warner: It's not a big deal.
- [shakes her head]
- Blair Warner: This is a kitchen, you know, not the space shuttle.
- Dina Becker: I know that this is a kitchen. That's why I stay away from it as much as possible.
- Blair Warner: [presents tin] This is tuna fish. Should the subject ever come up again.
- [points at the design on the tin]
- Blair Warner: See the little fishie?
- [big bright smile as Dina looks at her wide-eyed]
- Blair Warner: Now, we open it.
- [uses electric can-opener as Dina watches astonished]