- Jo Polniaczek: Juliet was only thirteen when she married Romeo.
- Blair Warner: Yes. And they had a great wedding night, they both died.
- Jo Polniaczek: Yeah, well otherwise their marriage would have worked out great.
- Edna Garrett: You girls will do fine. Besides, it will give you a chance to meet some of those foxy Bates boys.
- Jo Polniaczek: Who needs those stuffy creeps? I've got the best. Eddie.
- Blair Warner: Wonderful. We get to hear another chapter of The Young And The Restless.
- Jo Polniaczek: No, I'm... I'm too modest to read this. Here, you read it, Mrs. Garrett.
- Edna Garrett: Oh, no. I never read love letters at night after my warm milk. Too stimulating.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [eagerly] I'll read it. Nothing's too stimulating for me. "Keeping you in my head is the only way I get through the grind. When I hold the mop, I'm holding you. When I grab a pan, I'm grabbing you. When I'm peeling a potato, I'm peeling you."
- Jo Polniaczek: A guy saying things like that... You could die.
- Blair Warner: I certainly want to.
- Jo Polniaczek: Hey, don't go blaming Eddie. At least he's ready to prove how he feels about me.
- Blair Warner: What's he gonna do, tattoo your name on his chest?
- Blair Warner: That's not an engagement ring. An engagement ring has a diamond in it.
- Jo Polniaczek: It's got a diamond in it. Maybe it would help to bring it a little closer.
- [her fist in front of Blair's face]
- Blair Warner: Of course. Now I see it. It's lovely.
- Blair Warner: Jo, remember Bink Parker from the debate? He's taking me out tonight.
- Jo Polniaczek: How come? I thought he won the debate.
- Blair Warner: I thought you and Eddie would like to go to dinner with us. You've never been on a double date before.
- Jo Polniaczek: So far we've been lucky.
- Jo Polniaczek: I thought you wanted to have dinner with me and Eddie out of friendship, you phony!
- Blair Warner: What I did was out of friendship, Jo. You matter to me.
- Jo Polniaczek: You know what matters to me? That you and your hit-man Bug bink off, or BInk bug off, or whatever.