The Facts of Life (TV Series)
The Four Musketeers (1982)
Lisa Whelchel: Blair Warner
Photos
Quotes
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Jo Polniaczek : Mrs. Garrett, I have tried reasoning with her like a civilized person, but it's impossible!
Blair Warner : Civilized? John McEnroe could give you lessons in etiquette!
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Blair Warner : [as Tootie and Natalie bicker] My, my, my, trouble in paradise.
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Jo Polniaczek : Would you stop doing that?
Blair Warner : What?
Jo Polniaczek : Sighing.
Blair Warner : I don't sigh.
Jo Polniaczek : Well if it isn't a sigh, you've got a slow leak!
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[first lines]
Jo Polniaczek : [in overcrowded bathroom, Blair's hairdryer is causing amok] Hey...! Farrah! You're messing my toothbrush!
Blair Warner : I need puff.
Jo Polniaczek : Puff?
Blair Warner : It's a Blair Warner trademark. Puff is the difference between my hair... and your hair.
[continues blowing her hair]
Jo Polniaczek : Yeah. That, and a barrel of Born Blonde.
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Natalie Green : [re the cold] It's not that bad.
Blair Warner : Maybe not for you. But a Warner is like a delicate soufflé.
Jo Polniaczek : Yeah, light and empty.
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Blair Warner : Me? She's completely unreasonable, Mrs. Garrett! She hates it when I breathe!
Jo Polniaczek : That sound makes me crazy! If you were my bike, I'd give you a lube job!
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Natalie Green : Look, a little suffering is good for the soul.
Jo Polniaczek : Forget it, Natalie. Suffering is a word unknown to the Warner clan.
Blair Warner : How do you know that? Happens to be true, but how would you know?
Jo Polniaczek : Because I know you, Blair. I've seen you under fire.
Blair Warner : Are you saying I'm not any good in a crisis?
Jo Polniaczek : Aw, to you a crisis is running out of Oil of Olay.