- Mr. Shorofsky: Got any egg salad?
- Jesse V. Valesquez: Eh, there's tuna salad. Same thing.
- Mr. Shorofsky: Tuna and egg are not the same. One is from a fish and one is from a chicken.
- Jesse V. Valesquez: [holds up another sandwich] What does a baloney come from?
- Mr. Shorofsky: [a beat] From a factory.
- Nicole Chapman: You move too fast for me.
- Jesse V. Valesquez: If you wanna be Jesse's woman, you're just gonna have to learn to catch up!
- Mr. Morloch: Yeah, something about a disaster that just brings people closer together.
- Mr. Shorofsky: In some cases, too close.
- Miss Sherwood: This place feels like a meat locker. Freezing!
- Mr. Shorofsky: I was sitting on my radiator, then I realized I was wasting my time. No heat.
- Doris Schwartz: Do you know that your husband was worried sick about you? I think you've taken years off that sweet man's life, not to mention what you've done to mine.
- Mrs. Schwartz: Stop acting like my mother.