Family Guy (TV Series)
Chitty Chitty Death Bang (1999)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Cult Kid #1, Doctor, Henry, Jesus Christ, Security Guard
Photos
Quotes
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Chris Griffin : Hey, birthday dude! You want some ice cream?
Stewie Griffin : Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.
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Doctor : Congratulations, Mrs. Griffin, it's a boy. Wait, there's more...
Lois Griffin : Oh my god! Is it twins?
Doctor : No, it's a map of Europe.
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Brian Griffin : Well Peter, you've only got a couple of hours left. If you're gonna pull a party out of your ass, you may wanna stand up.
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Peter Griffin : [riding a circus elephant] Hey, Lois, look. The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant and a big fat white guy who's threatened by change.
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Riff : Uh, okay, man, you are really throwing me off. It's step-kick-step-twirl. Got it?
Peter Griffin : I thought we were going gonna rumble with those greasy Sharks.
Riff : Not without seven years of ballet and two of jazz tap, we're not. From the top, people! Why don't you just hang back and stretch?
[Peter looks disappointed]
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Meg Griffin : Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever.
Peter Griffin : Oh no you're not honey. What about that fat girl from the Judds?
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[Stewie is taken by an airport security guard]
Stewie Griffin : Damn you! You're one of them. What are they paying you? I'll double it! I'll give you whatever you want! Money, women... men?
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Cheesy Charlie's Manager : We have many flavors of ice cream - vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, and people.
Peter Griffin : What was that last one?
Cheesy Charlie's Manager : Chocolate.
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Timmy : I have 13 tickets, now. Is that enough?
Cheesy Charlie's Employee : Oh, I'm sorry Timmy, but you need 15 tickets to live.
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Peter Griffin : [doing the laundry] Hey, where's my sock? Hey!
[crawls into the dryer and arrives in Narnia]
Goat Man : Welcome to Narnia, I am Mr. Tumnus.
Peter Griffin : Hey, give me back my sock, you goat bastard!
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[Brian is at Stewie's party. A clown holding a soda siphon passes]
Brian Griffin : Hey you, hit me!
[the clown squirts soda water into Brian's Martini glass]
Brian Griffin : Now if I can just find a midget with some gin I'll be in business.
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Brian : [after Peter tells Lois an outlandish story about failing to secure Cheesy Charlie's for Stewie's birthday] Congratulations, Peter. You're the Spalding Gray of crap.
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Stewie Griffin : What do you want?
Cult Leader : I want to get the hell out of here!
Stewie Griffin : Oh, I'm sorry, We're fresh out of that, but what I can give you is *untimely death*!
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Jolene : Well hey there little boy, are you lost?
Stewie Griffin : Now listen to me...
[Reads name tag]
Stewie Griffin : Jo-LENE, I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight happy meal - and no pickles! Oh God help you if I find pickles!
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Stewie Griffin : The ruptured capillaries in your nose belie the clarity of your wisdom.
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Peter Griffin : This party couldn't be better if Jesus was here.
Jesus : For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK.
[set turns into disco]
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Cheesy Charlie's Manager : Welcome to Cheesy Charlie's. Heil Hitler!
Peter Griffin : Uh, ah. Actually the name's Griffin. I was sent by my smart, beautiful and still sexually appealing wife Lois.
Cheesy Charlie's Manager : Ah, yes. We're all set for your little boys party.
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Peter Griffin : You do children's parties?
Bruce the Performance Artist : Oh yeah, I can do like, a handstand, and some somersaults, maybe ah, I can make pretend like the children are little bugs in my web.
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Stewie Griffin : [addressing a group of infants] I offer you the opportunity to join me in glorious battle. I know there are some amongst you whose motor skills are not yet developed. Sadly you will be used as decoys. But your children's children will know that you fell for a noble cause. Now who's with me?
Timmy : Ducky?
Stewie Griffin : Nah! Useless, every one of you! Fine, I'll defend myself and to hell with all of you!
[shivers]
Stewie Griffin : Ah! There I've gone and soiled myself. Are you happy now?
