Family Guy (TV Series)

Family Guy Viewer Mail #1 (2002)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Carter Pewterschmidt, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Announcer, Jared, The Count, Driver, N'Sync Member, Guard

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : I say, Quagmire, it seems to me we've each made another $500 million dollars.

  Quagmire : Good thing we swore off women so we wouldn't be distracted and unable to accumulate this vast amount of wealth.

  Peter Griffin : Yes. You watch the ticker. I'm gonna microwave a bagel and have sex with it.

  Quagmire : Butter's in the fridge!

• [after being threatened by the superpowered Griffins at a town hall meeting] 

  Mayor Adam West : That's it! We have to fight fire with fire. If nuclear refuse gave them superpowers, it could do the same for me. Citizens, I'm off to the toxic waste dump!

  [to cheers, Mayor West leaves town hall. He drives over to a nuclear waste plant and hops over the gate. He then proceeds to roll around in nuclear waste leaking out of drums. Cut to Mayor West at a doctor's appointment with Dr. Hartman] 

  Dr. Elmer Hartman : Mayor West, you have lymphoma.

  Mayor Adam West : [nonplussed]  Oh, my.

  Dr. Elmer Hartman : Probably from rolling around in that toxic waste.

  Mayor Adam West : I see.

  Dr. Elmer Hartman : What the hell were you trying to prove?

  Mayor Adam West : I was trying to gain superpowers.

  Dr. Elmer Hartman : That's just silly.

  Mayor Adam West : Silly, yes. Idiotic, yes.

  [beat]