Family Guy (TV Series)
Jungle Love (2005)
Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Karen, Teenage Girl #2, Princess
Photos
Quotes
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Lois Griffin : Oh, Chris, my baby! I'm telling you, Peter, I never should have let him out of my stomach!
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Peter Griffin : Hey, uh, you gots got an ATM? I only got $37 on me.
[the villagers all gasp and bow to him]
Peter Griffin : What's the matter with them?
Chieftain : We've never seen that much money before. You are the richest man in the country.
Peter Griffin : Richest man in the country? Wow, no Griffin's been this powerful since my ancestor, King Arthur Griffin.
Princess : [cutaway] Oh, Arthur, if you are able to draw the sword from the stone and prove to me you truly are the sole king of Camelot, I will make love to you right here in the clearing.
King Arthur Griffin : What if I could just move it an inch, will you touch me?
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Lois Griffin : Peter, what are you doing? You've been out of work forever, and you promised me you were going out to look for a job today.
Peter Griffin : Oh, uh, okay. I'll go look for a job, Lois.
[holding out a magazine]
Peter Griffin : Oh, what is this? The latest "Redbook".
[tossing it away like a toy for a dog, he runs outside and hides behind a pair of garbage cans]
Peter Griffin : Is she gone?
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Lois Griffin : I wonder how your father's first day at work went.
[pulling up to the house like a fast-food drive-through, Peter honks the car horn]
Meg Griffin : Dad? What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin : [drunk] Uh, yeah, hey, buddy. Uh, I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries. And, uh, do you sell pants?
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Chris Griffin : [Peter has the villagers re-enact an episode of "Seinfeld"] Dad, I have had enough of you taking advantage of these people. For God's sakes, the woman playing Elaine is a high priestess!
Peter Griffin : I don't have to take that from you. I'm the richest guy in town!
Chris Griffin : Dad, don't you see? This is a wonderful place, and you're just using it to escape from your problems at home.
Peter Griffin : What do you mean? Meg's right there.
Lois Griffin : But, Chris, honey, aren't you doing the same thing?
Chris Griffin : What do you mean?
Lois Griffin : I mean you just came here because you were being picked on at school. You're using these people to escape your problems.
Chris Griffin : Oh, my God! You're right. I married this 11-year-old girl for all the wrong reasons! I'm sorry, Loca. I guess I just came here because I was afraid of being a freshman.
Chieftain : Freshman?
Chris Griffin : [the villagers start chasing them] I guess you can't run away from your problems anywhere!
Peter Griffin : [running toward a docked seaplane] Jock, start the engine! Get the plane up!
[as they run toward the water a la "Raiders of the Lost Ark," the plane starts up and they all manage to get aboard]
Brian Griffin : Uh, Peter, I think we forgot Meg.
[standing on the edge of the water, Meg falls over, revealing a number of blowdarts in her back]
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Lois Griffin : Peter, this is ridiculous. We came here to take Chris home. Why are we staying?
Peter Griffin : 'Cause I'm tired of being treated like crap at work. D-Don't you see what this means to me? I'm somebody here. Finally, a white man has an opportunity to be rich and in charge.
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Chris Griffin : Hi, Mom and Dad! Everybody, this is my wife, Loca. We're married.
Lois Griffin : Well, maybe here, but not in America, where God pays attention.
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Lois Griffin : Peter, I just found this note in Chris' room! He ran away to join the Peace Corps!
Peter Griffin : Oh, my God, give me that.
[she moves to hand him the note]
Peter Griffin : No, that.
[he indicates a paddle ball paddle; giving it to him, he giggles as he plays with it, and as time passes, the ball finally hits him in the face]
Peter Griffin : Oh! Oh! Dumb! I'm bored with it now.
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Chris Griffin : [nervous about his first day of high school] Uh, I think I'm coming down with something.
Lois Griffin : Chris, relax. The Freshman Hunt doesn't really exist. It's just a myth to scare freshmen.
Chris Griffin : Really? Oh, boy, that's a relief.
Lois Griffin : Now, have a good day at school, sweetie.
[as he gets out, she honks the car horn]
Lois Griffin : FRESHMAN!
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Lois Griffin : Hey, Chris. Was school any better today?
Chris Griffin : No! I hate it! I never wanna go back!
Lois Griffin : Oh, come on, it'll get better. You just have to find your place. Let's go, Stewie. Time to change your diaper.
Stewie Griffin : I'm not worried about high school at all. Worst-case scenario, I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls.
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[Chris calls home after joining the Peace Corps]
Lois Griffin : Hello?
Chris Griffin : Hi, Mom!
[Peter joins the call]
Peter Griffin : Chris, buddy, thank God you're okay!
Chris Griffin : Hi, Dad!
Peter Griffin : Hey, this has been driving me crazy. Who was the chick on "Remington Steele"?
[Stewie joins the call]
Stewie Griffin : Hello?
Chris Griffin : Stephanie Zimbalist?
Stewie Griffin : No, Stewie Griffin. Who's this?
Peter Griffin : [responding to Chris] Thank you!
Lois Griffin : Chris, what are you doing down there?
Chris Griffin : Relax, Mom. I'm having a great time!
Stewie Griffin : [annoyed] You people knocked me off the modem!
Lois Griffin : When are you coming home?
Peter Griffin : How's the food in South America?
Stewie Griffin : Do the women there have exposed cliteratti?
Chris Griffin : I'll be home in a month, after people have forgotten I'm a freshman.
Lois Griffin : Well... Please just take care of yourself, honey.
[Meg joins the call]
Meg Griffin : Hey, guys. Is everyone on the phone?
Chris Griffin : I gotta go.
[disconnects]
Lois Griffin : Something's in the oven.
[disconnects]
Peter Griffin : I lost a shoe.
[disconnects]
Stewie Griffin : Don't leave me on the phone with her!
Meg Griffin : Stewie?
Stewie Griffin : [faking being interested] Hey... . How's school?
Meg Griffin : [sweetly] Hi, Stewie.
Stewie Griffin : Listen, I am swamped... but Mom has kept me up to date on everything you're doing... and I think it's just great. Hanging up now.
[disconnects, groans]
