Family Guy (TV Series)

Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother? (2001)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : Hey. Nice job out there tonight, Chris. You wiped the floor with that towel.

  Chris Griffin : Yo! Did y'all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah. I was looking to break off a little somethin'-somethin' but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling-bling.

  [Peter stops the car] 

  Lois Griffin : Peter, what's wrong?

  Peter Griffin : He's speaking in tongues, Lois! Our son is possessed!

  [hands a book to Meg] 

  Peter Griffin : Meg, start at Psalm 41 and don't start reading until I tell you!

  [sprays holy water on Chris] 

  Peter Griffin : The power of Christ compels you!

  [Chris screams] 

  Peter Griffin : The power of Christ compels you!

  [Chris continues screaming] 

  Lois Griffin : Peter, stop! He's not possessed!

  Meg Griffin : Yeah, he's just talking street. Lots of kids do it.

  Peter Griffin : Oh. Well, that's kinda weird.

  Lois Griffin : Peter, it's just a phase. You've gone through a few yourself, you know.

  Brian Griffin : Yeah, like those two weeks you spent narrating your own life.

  [flashback] 

  Peter Griffin : I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course, I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow, I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately, I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with a long fatigue of a weary life.

  [Lois punches Peter, then leaves; later at nighttime] 

  Peter Griffin : I awoke several hours later in a daze.

• Peter Griffin : [after learning about his African American ancestor Nate Griffin]  Wow, then it's true.

  Chris Griffin : Cool! I get to be Black and Irish.

  Meg Griffin : Yeah. And now I can wear clothes that actually show off my big butt.

• Peter Griffin : Hey, Chris! Whatcha doing?

  Chris Griffin : Jus' layin' back in the cot, peepin' at this here homey. Yo, Pops, lemme have some cheddar. Some playa-hata be throwin' salt in my game - grillin' me over my gear. An' I needs to be mackin' style!

  Peter Griffin : Well eh the important thing is you tried, son.