- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Aunt Oona!
- Aunt Oona: [creeps up to the door] What?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots.
- Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo?
- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Sup?
- Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile?
- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. How much do I owe you for parking?
- Harriette Winslow: So Oona... how are things in Altoona?
- Aunt Oona: Well... not good, my kitchen exploded.
- Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen?
- Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded.
- Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen?
- Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed.
- Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah but if you...
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand.