Father Ted (TV Series)

Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep (1998)

Dermot Morgan: Father Ted Crilly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Father Dougal McGuire : Ted, it's pointless even thinking about it, you're only wasting your time, there's nothing we can do about the situation. We just have to except the fact and that's that.

  Father Ted Crilly : Maybe if we brought Chris over here? Maybe the change of scenery would do him good.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Oh wow, brilliant. I knew there was something we could do. Didn't I say it? Didn't I say it to you there just a second ago?

  Father Ted Crilly : [Looking confused]  No... no you didn't. You said the exact opposite. There was nothing we could do.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Actually Ted, you've done this to me before, so I took the liberty of taping the conversation.

  [He pulls out a tape recorder] 

  Father Dougal McGuire : Now we'll just have a listen.

  [the tape plays Dougal's earlier speech about there being nothing they can do] 

  Father Dougal McGuire : I stand corrected.

• Mrs. Doyle : Do you think would our new guest like a cup of tea? The little sheep fella?

  Father Ted Crilly : I don't think they drink tea Mrs Doyle. Not unless you have some sort if special sheep tea

  [laughing] 

  Mrs. Doyle : Yes.

  Father Ted Crilly : What?

  Mrs. Doyle : I do have some soecial sheep tea in the kitchen?

  Father Ted Crilly : Oh. Right well... give him some of that.

  Mrs. Doyle : Right oh Father.

  [Runs into the kitchen all excited] 

• John O'Leary : [Shoving Mary into a cupboard & shutting it]  And you can stay in there until you learn some feckin' manners.

  Mary O'Leary : Let me out ya bastard.

  [Banging inside the cupboard] 

  John O'Leary : [Throwing out the key]  And I'm throwing away the key. How do you like that huh?

  Father Ted Crilly : [Ted and Dougal enter]  Hello John.

  John O'Leary : [Runs to the cupboard that Mary is still banging]  Hello Father Crilly. Hello Father McGuire.

  [Mary stops banging]