- Father Ted Crilly: It's just a rush. I feel fearless. Like Jeff Bridges in that movie.
- Father Dougal McGuire: I didn't see that one.
- Father Ted Crilly: Not many people have, Dougal. It's probably a bad reference
- Fr. Noel Furlong: Oh God! He must have seen his reflection! He's not supposed to see his reflection! He doesn't know he's a priest!
- Father Fintan Fay: [Father Ted is reading Michael Barrymore's autobiography] Ooh ooh! Aah aah! Ooh?
- Father Ted Crilly: No, there's no mention of it so far.
- Father Ted Crilly: [as Ted learns about the fuel problem] Dougal, here's a mad guess, just out of the blue. But, did you press the button?
- Father Dougal McGuire: [shocked] Ah now, Ted, come on!
- Father Ted Crilly: Did you, Dougal?
- Father Dougal McGuire: [guiltily] I did, yeah.
- Father Gallagher: Should we not just have a bit of an old pray? I mean, maybe God will help us.
- [looks around for support, but all the priests aren't interested]