- Fred Flintstone: [after discovering Barney has walked away with the TV set] Are you nuts?
- Barney Rubble: But Fred, you told me to be ruthless.
- Fred Flintstone: Ruthless? You put that set back or you'll be toothless!
- Barney Rubble: [Hiding in the TV set] Are you having trouble sleeping at night? It might be because you're a deadbeat. Pay off those annoying TV bills with one big payment, and get a good night's sleep.
- Fred Flintstone: [Picks up TV set and starts shaking it] Rubble, I'll get you out of there even if I have to wreck the set!
- Fred Flintstone: You know, Wilma, I've been feeling wonderful this past week. Must be because I haven't seen that ungrateful neighbor of ours, Barney Rubble.
- Wilma Flintstone: Ungrateful? How come?
- Fred Flintstone: I'll tell you how come. I figured that Barney wasn't getting paid enough. So last week I went to see his boss. I told him I was Barney's agent and, boy, did I lay it on the line.
- Wilma Flintstone: Laid what on the line, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, I told him I was collective bargaining for Barney. And unless Barney collected a lot of retroactive pay, the bargain was over. Then I told Barney to put his broom down and go see his boss.
- Wilma Flintstone: And then what?
- Fred Flintstone: I haven't seen that ingrate Barney since. He's probably living it up on that big fat raise I got him. Ah, heh, heh. Who cares? Just not seeing him around is worth it. It's water over the bridge.
- [Wilma serves his dinner]
- Fred Flintstone: Nothing could get me mad. Not the way I feel. Nothing.
- [notices one small fish on his plate]
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma! What's the idea? One smelt for dinner?
- Wilma Flintstone: I thought nothing could get you mad, Fred.
- Fred Flintstone: Well, one measly smelt is nothing. And I'm mad. I need nourishment. I'm a growing man.
- Wilma Flintstone: You're growing, all right. You're growing impossible.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, yeah? What happened to the dinosaur steak I brought home last night?
- Wilma Flintstone: Well, if you must know, I gave it to Betty and Barney.
- Fred Flintstone: Betty... and Barney?
- Wilma Flintstone: That's right.
- Fred Flintstone: So it isn't enough I get the guy more dough, he's got to sponge off my wife when my back is turned. I'm gonna go see that sponge and squeeze his ungrateful head.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred, just a minute!
- [Wilma steps in front of the door]
- Fred Flintstone: Get away from that door, Wilma. My chivalry is getting thin.
- Wilma Flintstone: And that's the only thing about you that is getting thin. Now you listen to me, blabbermouth. The reason I gave them the steak is because they haven't had a decent meal all week. They're too proud to ask for help, but the truth is they're flat broke.
- Fred Flintstone: Broke? Well, what's Barney doing with all that money I got him?
- Wilma Flintstone: Are you kidding? All you got him was a place in the unemployment line.
- Fred Flintstone: Huh?
- Wilma Flintstone: After you got through shooting off your big mouth to Barney's boss, he fired Barney.
- Fred Flintstone: [feeling guilty] Gee... I... I was only trying to help.
- Wilma Flintstone: Well, you better think of something that will help Barney or you'll be eating smelt all month.
- Fred Flintstone: Okay, Wilma, I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll think of something. Sheesh! Me and my big mouth.
- Fred Flintstone: [Learns that Barney has been asked to repossess his golf clubs] You touch one club, and I'll mash your head in with a mashie!
- Wilma Flintstone: [Wilma has seen Fred and Barney reconcile and then another argument followed by a feud] Well,they were friends for about 5 minutes... and that's about par for the course.
- [Fred hits the ball, the ball hits a rock, and comes back]
- Barney Rubble: Did you keep your eye on the ball, Fred?
- [Fred approaches Barney and shows the ball stuck on his eye]
- Fred Flintstone: Does THAT answer your stupid question?
- Edgar Boulder: [after collecting the money he won from Fred] Well, like you always say, Flintstone, "It's not winning the game that counts, it's collecting the dough."
- Barney Rubble: [hands Mr. Boulder a golf club] Here you are, Mr. Boulder. This looks like a pretty good one
- Edgar Boulder: A putter? To drive with? Well, okay, you're the caddie. You know this game better than I do.
- Fred Flintstone: [chuckles silently] Driving with a putter, yet. Oh, boy, this is gonna be good.
- [Mr. Boulder swings and he makes a perfect hole in one]
- Fred Flintstone: A hole in one!
- Barney Rubble: Is that good, Fred?
- Edgar Boulder: You're a whiz, Rubble. That's the first hole in one I ever shot, and I did it with a putter, thanks to you.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, it looks like I'm winning a friend, huh, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: You could still end up even. You're losing me.
- Edgar Boulder: Hey, Rubble, what'll I do now? My ball's down here in this sand trap.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, down in a sand trap. Let's see, uh...
- [passes a different club]
- Barney Rubble: Well, uh, try this, Mr. Boulder.
- Edgar Boulder: A driver?
- Fred Flintstone: [chuckles silently] A driver in a sand trap. Heh! Heh! You wanna make it double or nothing, Mr. Boulder?
- Edgar Boulder: Okay, it's a bet.
- [Mr. Boulder swings hard, the ball goes into the hole from underground, and Mr. Boulder wins]
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, no. No. No! No! No! No!
- [falls to the ground]
- Fred Flintstone: And I made it double or nothing! Oh, no!
- [sobs heavily]
- Edgar Boulder: [chuckles] Flintstone's a good winner, but he's certainly a poor loser.
- Fred Flintstone: [Preparing to tee off] FORE!
- Barney Rubble: [Interrupting Fred's swing] What's 'fore' mean Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: [Yelling] DON'T... EVER... DO... THAT... AGAIN!