Frasier (TV Series)
Burying a Grudge (1994)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Quotes
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Dr. Niles Crane : If, uh, if anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping at the hospital tonight.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Why?
Dr. Niles Crane : Uh, Maris' doctor feels it's more soothing for the patient to duplicate the home environment as closely as possible, so I slipped a pearl-handled revolver under her pillow and got myself a room across the hall.
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Daphne Moon : [talking of cosmetic surgery] Oh, I know just what you mean, Dr. Crane. I fell victim to that pressure myself once. I had a mole removed.
Dr. Niles Crane : Where?
Daphne Moon : Just south of Manchester.
Dr. Niles Crane : I meant where on your body.
Daphne Moon : So did I.
-
Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier. What are you doing here?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, I finally got Dad and Artie Walsh talking again. Of course I did have to resort to cheap, manipulative pseudo-psychology.
Dr. Niles Crane : Always go to your strengths.
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Dr. Niles Crane : [about Maris] She hasn't had much experience in hospitals aside from the normal childhood things: tonsils, adenoids... force feeding.
-
Martin Crane : Look, can we drop this? Artie obviously still has an attitude and I've got better things to do than sit around a hospital room taking abuse.
Dr. Niles Crane : [realizing] Oh God, I'm due back with Maris.
-
Dr. Niles Crane : I still remember him
[Artie Walsh]
Dr. Niles Crane : inviting us to his house for weenie roasts when we were kids.
[laughs]
Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm sure he remembers you too, asking for salad nicoise!
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Dr. Niles Crane : [on the phone with Maris] Yes, I'm sure, no, you can't gain weight from a glucose IV.
[laughs]
Dr. Niles Crane : No my little worry-wart, there's no such thing as a NutraSweet drip.
-
Daphne Moon : What's wrong with Mrs. Crane?
Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, it's nothing serious. Cosmetic surgery. Her chin, her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids...
Martin Crane : Maybe it'd be faster if you just told us what she's leaving alone.
