- Dr. Frasier Crane: Daphne... you can't go. You have to stay. I've only just recently realised how important you are to us. You see, if you go, Dad and I will kill each other. I'm not just tossing out hyperbole here, I'm speaking in the most literal sense: Dad and I, both dead. Only he'll be lying there with a bacteria-ridden sponge protruding from his mouth like a bloated tongue!
- Daphne: That works out fine for me! I'll just spend all day waiting on you and your father, and then in the evenings retire to me room, wrap meself in me afgan and wait for morning. And if my whimpering gets too loud for you, you can just have me fixed like Eddie.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Can you explain... this?
- [holds up sponge with barbecue tongs]
- Martin: A grown man's obsession with a sponge? No I can't.
- Martin: Boy, what a tortured little world you live in! Newspapers strewn all over the place! Sponge germs coming after you! It's a wonder you can sleep at night!
- [Niles is obsessing about not being invited to any more society functions]
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh wait, wait. I know what happened. My invitation just got lost in the mail... No, it's not so far fetched. It could have been mis-sorted, or a stamp could have fallen off, or it could have been stolen by my mail carrier. Ho-downs are catnip to postal workers!
- [Roz enters in time to catch the last sentence]
- Roz: Well, I'd ask you to explain that, but then... you would.
- Daphne: [realizing they overslept] You promised me once we did the deed that you'd be on your merry way.
- Joe DeCarlo: [smiling] I was.
- Martin: [walking around in his underwear while Daphne's gone] I've been wearing pants for three years: enough!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [to Martin] Turns out Joe can't have sex because of an injury he suffered after a spooked sheep kicked him while he was vacationing in the Falkland Islands during the war.
- Martin: You want me to dry that sponge? Fine, I'll dry that sponge.
- [takes sponge into kitchen, put it in the toaster and pushes the lever down]
- Martin: Give it about a minute.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh that is SO immature.