Frasier (TV Series)

Crock Tales (2004)

Jane Leeves: Daphne Moon

Quotes 

• [on the Fourth of July, Frasier looks at his balcony rail] 

  Frasier : Wait a minute. Is my bunting a-droop? It's supposed to drape evenly. Oh, for God's sakes.

  Daphne : You're not going to send me back to the Space Needle with binoculars and a walkie-talkie again, are you?

• Daphne : [Speaking about sex with Niles]  ... and just when I thought I'd worn him out, he flips me over like a griddle cake and we were off again! I tell you he's spoiled me for any other man.

  Roz : Niles? Frasier's brother Niles?

• Frasier : Oh, hey, Daph. My God, you look hideous.

  Daphne : Thank you! Now I wouldn't normally wear polyester on the hottest day of the year, but some English friends of mine are having an Ugly American party in honor of the Fourth.

  [masculine American accent] 

  Daphne : We're gonna toss back a couple a' cold brewskis, watch the ball game, and not use the metric system.

• Daphne : Hello!

  Frasier : Oh, hi!

  [kisses her cheek and hugs her] 

  Frasier : How was the honeymoon?

  Daphne : Oh, Tahiti was absolute paradise - except for poor Niles getting sunburned.

  Frasier : [Niles staggers in]  Oh dear, Niles. You look like you've crawled out of a bisque.

  Niles : And you look like someone who doesn't want his Paul Gauguin souvenir oven mitt.

  Frasier : Niles, you remembered.

• Daphne : Dr. Crane, I know what you're going to do!

  Niles : You do?

  Daphne : Not you, Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane! And you can't fire me, because I quit!

  Frasier : What?

  Daphne : After all I've done to save you money! I'm washing my face with dish soap while you're out buying imported bath salts like a big rich girl! I hope you rot in debtors' prison!

• Daphne : Oh, you know, I think I left your present in my room. Niles, will you help me with it?

  Niles : Oh, of course. We'll be back very quickie.

  Daphne : Quickly.

  Niles : Quickly.