Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles, one last warning. Take it from someone who knows you both: you and Roz are NOT a good couple.
Dr. Niles Crane : I understand you're saying that, but believe me, I have seen a new Roz today and underneath that brazen exterior she is a sweet, sensitive, shy and vulnerable woman.
Roz Doyle : [calling from kitchen] Niles, have you seen my nipples?
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Martin Crane : I'll bring a quart of whiskey in case of snakebite.
Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, Dad, there are no snakes up there.
Martin Crane : All right, I'll bring a snake!
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[Martin and Frasier think Niles has asked Roz out]
Dr. Frasier Crane : *Roz*?
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, didn't you encourage me to make a fresh start?
Dr. Frasier Crane : True, but I gotta tell you, Niles, Roz isn't the freshest start you could make!
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles, the butcher shop was closed, so here I am with all my spices, everything I need to make my duck a l'orange - all I've got's the l'orange!
Martin Crane : [noticing the rack of shotguns by the door] Well, looks like we're going to have get our ducks the old-fashioned way! But we better get a move on, there's only a couple hours of daylight left.
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, you know, I saw some boxs of ammo in the mud room, Dad, through the kitchen.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Are you insane? I'm not going to shoot any ducks; it's barbaric!
Martin Crane : Oh, I get it! You'll eat them but you won't kill them. What do you think, these things are born "a l'orange?"
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Martin Crane : [telling Roz about Niles's crush on Daphne] Six years, can you believe it? Some people just don't even know when it's time to pull the plug.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, I won't make that mistake twice!
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Dr. Niles Crane : I just don't understand, what does she see in him? If you were Daphne, would you go out with Donny?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, no, but I wouldn't massage Dad's ass for what I pay her either.
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Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, I'm sorry, what am I supposed to do? For the first time since I've known her I'm free and single and now she's with someone. Am I supposed to just suffer in silence?
Martin Crane : I'd take that.
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Dr. Niles Crane : [speaking of the lakefront cottage] It's a fabulous place, Dad. It's got a stereo and a big screen TV, and a sauna, wine cellar...
Dr. Frasier Crane : Perfect for three guys roughing it in the wilderness!
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Roz Doyle : Oh, no you don't! Donny is seeing Daphne and I am not the kind who steals other people's boyfriends! Not friends' boyfriends... not good friends'...
[distraught]
Roz Doyle : Not again!
Dr. Niles Crane : Roz, you might recall you went out with him for six months. She's only seen him three or four times, they're not even sleeping together.
Roz Doyle : What? How would you know?
Dr. Niles Crane : She told me. I don't want to be the bad guy here, but you did have him first and he did want to make a life with you.
Roz Doyle : [thinks about it, then] Listen, there is no way that I am going... She hasn't slept with him?
Dr. Niles Crane : She's English.
Roz Doyle : [thinks about it more, then] Why don't you just admit it? You're just doing this because you want Daphne.
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes! Yes! Yes, I want Daphne - I think we belong together, just like I think you and Donny belong together, and why should two people be happy when four people can be ecstatic?
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Look, I'm sorry, Niles, it's just that Donny and Daphne seem very happy together. Now either it's true love, in which case it's too late for you to declare yourself, or it's just a temporary infatuation...
Dr. Niles Crane : [jumping with hope] It's got to be! It's got to be!
Dr. Frasier Crane : ...In which case it will pass, and then you can make your move!
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Dr. Niles Crane : [to Roz] They're not going to see Donny, because you're going to invite him to watch the sunset down by the lake, you're going to continue to work his charms on him, and then you're going to invite him out to dinner, and who knows where that'll lead?
[laughs]
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, what am I saying, we both know where that'll lead!
