Frasier (TV Series)

Desperately Seeking Closure (1997)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Niles : Well, no wonder you're heartbroken. You've just lost the only woman you could ever possibly, sometime down the line, perhaps fall in love with. I'm surprised the country music people haven't jumped all over this one.

• Frasier : [has everyone tell him his faults]  Fuss budget! Well, listen, if you don't mind the substitution, I think maybe "demanding" is more the mot juste.

  Daphne : Pretentious.

  Frasier : Right, you see, this is very good. Roz, you must have something?

  Roz : Well, you are a little full of yourself.

  Frasier : Great. Okay, pompous.

  Roz : And you do tend to ramble on with the callers.

  Frasier : A tad loquacious.

  Martin : Pretentious.

  Frasier : Dad, I already wrote that down.

  Martin : Underline it.

  Niles : Oh, snippy.

  Daphne : Sarcastic.

  Martin : Bossy.

  Niles : Huffy.

  Roz : Vain.

  Frasier : Oh, how nice we've finally found an activity we all enjoy together!

  Martin : Oh, don't worry about it Frasier. You'll be fine, you'll bounce back. You're tough.

  Roz : And resourceful.

  Niles : Resilient.

  Martin : Optimistic.

  Niles : Tenacious.

  Daphne : Conceited.

  Martin : Wrong list, Daph.

• Dr. Niles Crane : I just wonder if what you're mourning is not so much the loss of Sam, it's the loss of her celebrity lifestyle.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I must admit things never did seem quite right between us. God, if it hadn't been for her friends, I probably would have broken it off myself. Oh, God, shame on me.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Don't punish yourself, Frasier. At least you're deep enough to realize you're shallow.

• Frasier : Oh, God, the funniest thing happened in the lodge last night. Jack Nicholson and Tom Brokaw discovered they were wearing exactly the same jacket. So they staged a mock fight. Suddenly, Donna Karen flew between them pretending to referee. I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my toddy on someone named Fuff Daddy!

  Waitress : Can I get anything for you?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Just a dustpan and broom to sweep up some of these names!

• Martin Crane : Oh, don't worry about it, Frasier. You'll be fine, you'll bounce back. You're tough.

  Roz Doyle : And resourceful.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Resilient.

  Martin Crane : Optimistic.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Tenacious.

  Daphne Moon : Conceited.

  Martin Crane : Different list, Daph.

• Roz Doyle : Oh, come on, Frasier, why don't you just admit what you're doing here. This isn't some "help-me-be-a-better-person" thing. You're trying to figure out what you can fix so you can win Sam back.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, now, Roz, that's preposterous.

  Roz Doyle : Look who you're talking to! I've been down this road so many times, I call it "The Roz Expressway".

  Dr. Niles Crane : I've heard that phrase before, but in a slightly different context.