Frasier (TV Series)

Momma Mia (1999)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Frasier : Look, frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.

  Niles : It is not a phobia. I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them and frankly I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on.

• [after Frasier has yelled at Niles and been asked what happened] 

  Frasier : Niles dropped a huge log right on to my hand when he was startled by a moth!

  Niles : It wasn't a moth, it was a bat! I could tell by that eerie, high-pitched scream.

  Frasier : That was *you*!

• Martin : [Frasier is dating a woman named Mia who is a dead ringer for his mother but doesn't see the resemblance. Marty has just met her and sees it immediately. Frasier and Mia leave the room. Marty says to Niles]  God, she looks just like your mother!

  Niles : I know and Frasier doesn't see it.

  Martin : You're kidding!

  Niles : And he has the gall to tell me I'm blind. He's obviously the one dealing with repressed material. Not to mention the obvious oedipal issues.

  Martin : Argle gargle google goop.

  Niles : What?

  Martin : Now you know how it feels! What are you talking about?

• Martin : Now, don't make too much of this, Frasier. So you picked a woman who looked like your mother, so what?

  Frasier : "Like her" would have been fine, Dad. We're not talking about a similar hairdo or the same crooked smile. I was dating a replicant.

  Martin : Now Frasier, I know you're going to go crazy convincing yourself that you've got some big complex, but couldn't it be simpler than that? Maybe you just miss your mother. I know I do.

  Frasier : I do think about her a lot.

  Niles : We all do.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, can you hand me my valise? I want to put on some bug repellent.

  Martin Crane : Sure... boy it's heavy, what've you got in there?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Bug repellent.

• Dr. Niles Crane : [sees the cabin door open]  Oh! Why don't we just send engraved invitations to ALL the bugs in the forest?

  [closes the door] 

• Martin : Look at this fireplace. Your mom and I used to to sit in front of the fire here holding hands. I wonder if that...

  [pulls up rug] 

  Martin : Oh yeah! It's still here. That graffiti you scratched into the floor.

  Niles : That's not graffiti, Dad. That's a Latin pun. Semper Ubi Sub Ubi--Always Wear Underwear.

• Mia Preston : And there's a ton of muffins if anybody wants one.

  Niles : Oh, not for me, I have some problems with allergies.

  Mia Preston : Really? Well these are just wheat germ, oat bran, and carob.

  Niles : Oh well, throw in a sea scallop, you can phone the paramedics right now.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Freud had this theory that all men subconsciously want to sleep with their mother and kill their father. It was based on the Greek tragedy, Oedipus, who did sleep with his mother and kill his father, and when he realized what he'd done he gouged out both his eyes.

  Martin Crane : Bet it wouldn't be hard to pick that guy out of a lineup.