- Frasier: As long as we're tying up loose ends here, I was just wondering, what was your ring doing on the edge of my Jacuzzi tub, right next to my favorite scented candle - which was burned down to the wick?
- Daphne Moon: I'm going to let my attorney handle this one.
- [goes into the kitchen]
- Daphne Moon: I'm sorry, Frasier. I guess after a little champagne we got into the mood, and into the nude, and into the tub. But don't worry, we'll replace the candle.
- Frasier: If only you could replace the image.
- Frasier: I was just undressing to take my bath, when I sat on the edge of the tub and landed... on this.
- Daphne Moon: Oh my God, you found my ring! I'd given up, I thought it was someplace I'd never find it!
- Frasier: It very nearly was.
- [as Frasier and Niles discuss their romantic failures]
- Martin Crane: Jeez, how do you guys get up in the morning? You want to go into deep analysis? Listen to me, I'm your father. There's nothing wrong with either one of you.
- [to Frasier]
- Martin Crane: You dump a woman but you can't get her off your mind, so you end up getting dumped by the other one. And you should have stayed with the first one anyway, she was hotter.
- [to Niles]
- Martin Crane: And you, you're just learning how to date. I mean, it would have been nice if it had happened twenty-five years ago, but you play the cards you're dealt. Me? I like Bonnie, Bonnie's dog humps Eddie, I don't like Bonnie anymore. It doesn't mean I have "issues with women," it's just life, you know? Good stuff happens and bad stuff happens, that's all. You've just gotta look on the bright side. It's like that old song, "You Gotta Accentuate the Positive."
- Niles: Hey, Kit, there's something I wanted to talk to you about later.
- Kit: Just talk to me now. You know you can tell me anything.
- Niles: No, I'd rather do it after your shift.
- Kit: You have such a serious face.
- [jokingly]
- Kit: What, are we breaking up or something?
- Niles: Well...
- Kit: [Kit drops her tray, shattering coffee cups and drawing the attention of the whole café] Oh my God! You just dumped me? Right here where I work in front of everyone I wait on?
- Niles: That's okay, we'll go outside.
- Kit: Give me an answer!
- Niles: Kit, Kit, calm down ...
- Kit: You're tired of me? Is that what it is?
- Niles: It's all right ...
- Kit: You've had enough of me? I gave you everything and you used me! Sex, sex, sex! The way you come to bed every night - wanting it, begging for it!
- Niles: I never had to beg!
- Kit: I'm just a whore to you, aren't I?
- Niles: No, don't say that!
- Kit: That's all I am, your whore! Your whore from the café!
- [stomps out]
- Martin Crane: [Frasier has found Daphne's engagement ring] Well, you sure saved Daphne there.
- Frasier: Yes, and I also did myself a little favor as well. Can you imagine what conclusions Faye might have jumped to had she found this engagement ring in my room?
- Faye Moskowitz: [Faye comes in and sees the ring] Oh, Frasier, for me? I had no idea!
- Frasier: Well, actually, uh...
- Faye Moskowitz: [grabbing the ring] It's beautiful! It's so beautiful! Yes, Frasier, I do! I do!
- [she gives him a big kiss; he gropes for words to explain]
- Faye Moskowitz: Oh, calm down, you big dope. I know it's Daphne's ring.
- [she hits him playfully as Martin laughs]
- Faye Moskowitz: And, uh, I can't tell you how flattered I am by those beads of sweat on your forehead.
- Frasier: Well, they're love beads, honey!
- Cassandra Stone: Excuse me, is Frasier still here? I just had I needed to ask him.
- Faye Moskowitz: Oh, yeah, he's over there. I didn't get a chance to meet you before. I'm Faye.
- [holds out her hand]
- Cassandra Stone: [takes it] Oh, how do you do? I'm...
- Frasier: NOOOOOOO!
- Roz Doyle: Give him a break, he's just having fun.
- Frasier: That's exactly what I'd expect to hear from someone who's willing to spend the night as Bulldog's squeak toy.
- Roz Doyle: That is not funny! It was one night, and I would appreciate it if you would just let it drop.
- Frasier: You're right, I'm sorry, that was tactless of me. Tell you what, let me make it up to you. I've got an extra theater ticket tonight. Faye's busy, why don't you join me?
- Roz Doyle: No, thanks.
- Frasier: No, please, Roz. It's a delightful little show. I'll even throw in dinner.
- Roz Doyle: Busy.
- Frasier: Really. A date?
- Roz Doyle: [exploding] I have plans! Plans! What are you, a cop? I've got to account for every waking minute? My private life is my own business!
- Frasier: Bulldog!
- Roz Doyle: [bursting into tears] I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm weak. I can't stop myself!
- Frasier: Yes you can, Roz.
- Roz Doyle: Okay, I don't want to stop myself. He's good. He's really good. I mean, I'm better, but he's trainable.
- Frasier: Roz, it's Bulldog! Doesn't that bother you?
- Roz Doyle: You'd think.
- Donny Douglas: Oh! You found your ring.
- Daphne Moon: What... you knew it was gone?
- Donny Douglas: Well, Daphne, when your fiancée gives you a hug with a chicken on her hand, then bells go off.
- Bulldog Briscoe: This past week has been amazing, but I met a total babe at unemployment this morning and we're going to Hawaii this afternoon.
- Frasier: [to Niles] Well, frankly, you couldn't be acting more like a child. You think I don't know the real reason you came over here? It wasn't to get your keys, it was to show off Lolita's kid sister out there! The two of you have absolutely nothing in common.
- Niles: More often than not, I get my heart broken, by Maris, by Daphne even if she didn't know it. At least Kit only broke my box spring.
- Frasier: You okay?
- Martin Crane: I just broke it off with Bonnie.
- Frasier: Oh, gee. I'm so sorry. What happened?
- Martin Crane: Lady humped Eddie.
- Frasier: Excuse me?
- Martin Crane: You heard me. It was humiliating.
- Frasier: But Eddie's a boy dog and Lady's a... well, a lady.
- Martin Crane: Yes, well, that would be the humiliating part, now wouldn't it? Right in his own park in front of all those other dogs.
- [Frasier starts smiling]
- Martin Crane: Yeah, Bonnie got a big kick out of it, too.
- Frasier: Sorry.
- Martin Crane: I told her off and that was it.
- Frasier: [chuckling] I'm sorry, Dad.
- Martin Crane: It's not funny.
- Frasier: I know, I know, I know.
- [trying to be serious, then]
- Frasier: Was he wearing a hat?
- [laughs]
- Roz Doyle: [about Bulldog] Oh God, this ruins everything!
- Frasier: What?
- Roz Doyle: Well, didn't you hear what he said? He wants to buy me dinner. Do you realize what this means?
- Frasier: They finally opened that new Hooters out by the airport?
- Roz Doyle: No. He's crossed the line. He actually thinks we're dating!
- Frasier: Roz, didn't your mother warn you that sex could lead to things like dating?
- Frasier: Listen, Niles, I want to apologize for getting upset this morning. I've been giving it some thought and I think maybe Kit is just what the doctor ordered.
- Niles: [gloating] Is she ever!
- Frasier: And no strings? Just fun, right? That's what she says.
- Niles: Exactly. So, you really like her?
- Frasier: Yes, I do.
- Niles: And you're not just saying that?
- Frasier: Absolutely not.
- Niles: You want her?
- Frasier: Excuse me?
- Niles: Frasier, she's killing me!
- Frasier: [to Roz] I have got to stop saying Cassandra!
- Cassandra Stone: [Cassandra enters] Frasier!
- Frasier: Cassandra!
- Roz Doyle: Hi, Cassandra.
- Frasier: So, how've you been?
- Cassandra Stone: Great. Actually I've been wanting to talk to you for a while. We've been sort of... avoiding each other at work and it just all seems so silly. I mean, I really don't have any hard feelings about the way things ended between us.
- Frasier: Oh, well, that's wonderful. Neither do I.
- Cassandra Stone: You dumped me. You're not allowed to have hard feelings.
- Frasier: [to Roz] I have got to stop saying Cassandra!
- Cassandra Stone: [Cassandra comes into the cafe and spots them] Frasier!
- Frasier: Cassandra!