Frasier (TV Series)

Tales from the Crypt (2002)

Millicent Martin: Gertrude Moon

Quotes 

• [Gertrude is locked in a battle of pranks with the son of Niles and Daphne's neighbors; while pacing the apartment, she opens the door to a courier] 

  Gertrude Moon : Where have you been?

  Courier : Sorry, I had a tough time finding this place. I checked the directory for "Crane" but it had "Old Bat" next to this apartment number.

  [Gertrude turns to a parcel she has waiting] 

  Gertrude Moon : [to herself]  A little obvious, but not bad.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Only last night, Mrs. Moon challenged a trick-or-treater, and he responded by pelting our door with eggs.

  Gertrude Moon : Yeah, but I got the little monster back, by putting a big, greasy glob of Vaseline on his doorknob!

  Dr. Niles Crane : You said you'd put an end to it!

  Gertrude Moon : Hence the Vaseline.

  Daphne Crane : Mum, he's a child!

  Gertrude Moon : Well, it's time he learned you don't mess with Gertrude Moon without incurring my wrath. Now, excuse me, I require cocoa.

• Jason White : You know, my mom hates bugs. She screams like a girl.

  Gertrude Moon : So does my son-in-law.

  Jason White : I know where we can find some crickets.

  Gertrude Moon : No! Now, we should do as we're told, and start cleaning up.

  Jason White : [sighs]  Okay.

  Gertrude Moon : That way, they won't be expecting it!

• Gertrude Moon : That is precisely what's wrong with this country, everyone's afraid to stand up to the children.

• Gertrude Moon : [watching Daphne and Niles segue from arguing to being lovey dovey]  If this is what you call fighting, you're not fit for marriage.