Frasier (TV Series)
The Adventures of Bad Boy and Dirty Girl (1995)
Mercedes Ruehl: Kate Costas
Photos
Quotes
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Roz Doyle : [In the studio the morning after Frasier's on-air romp with Kate] Okay, *Fabio.* I want two things. One: you will never make another crack about my sex life. I don't care if I start dating a lumber camp.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Done.
Roz Doyle : And two: Who's 'Dirty Girl'?
[smiles]
Dr. Frasier Crane : I *can't* tell you that.
Roz Doyle : Oh, come on, Frasier! I swear, I won't tell a soul!
[the phone rings. Roz answers it]
Roz Doyle : Yes?
[turns away from Frasier]
Roz Doyle : Not yet, I'll call you back.
[She puts the phone down and gets a glare from Frasier. Bulldog enters]
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : Doc? I got one thing to say to you.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Go ahead, take your best shot.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : [in genuine admiration] I am so proud of you, man!
[He hugs a very unmoved Frasier]
Dr. Frasier Crane : [sarcastic] Well, doesn't that just put the cherry on the parfait.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : Now come on, you gotta tell me - who's the mystery chick?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Bulldog, haven't you already seen?
[points to newspapers]
Dr. Frasier Crane : I've told half a dozen reporters that I'm not going to name names.
Roz Doyle : [picks up a newspaper and shows it to Bulldog] Don't you see this right here?
[reads]
Roz Doyle : 'I Won't Fink, Says Kinky Shrink.'
[Roz and Bulldog laugh; Frasier looks fed up. Roz leaves for her booth. A very uncomfortable-looking Kate creeps in through the side door]
Kate Costas : Good afternoon, Dr Crane.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Ms. Costas.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : [to Kate] Hey, hey, you're the boss - make him tell who his playmate was.
Kate Costas : [pained] Bulldog, this is really none of your business.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : Oh, but we got a pool going. So far, hot money's on Roz.
[Roz, who has just returned, is outraged]
Roz Doyle : What? Oh, well, thank you, but I think I have a little more self-respect than to have a quickie with a co-worker on the air! What kind of slut do they think I am?
[Kate looks extremely uncomfortable]
Kate Costas : Dr Crane, could I have a word with you in private?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Er, I'd love that, but I, I've got my show in two minutes.
Kate Costas : Actually you don't. I'm suspending you for a week. Bulldog, you're going on. Roz - you'll have to produce.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : All right!
[He slaps Roz's butt enthusiastically; Roz hits him in the stomach with her clipboard]
Dr. Frasier Crane : [to Kate] I must say, I find that a, a bit harsh, all things considered.
Kate Costas : Yes, I can see how you might feel that way. But the station does have certain standards and it is my job to enforce them. Now if you will excuse me, I have to meet with one of last night's sponsors - The Wholesome Family Cookie Company.
[She leaves]
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[Martin and Daphne are playing dominoes and listening to the radio]
Announcer : In local news, Congressman Robert Gill was accused of taking bribes from a waste treatment facility. Asked to comment, the Congressman said...
[Frasier's voice cuts in]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes! YES! I am a bad boy, aren't I, you dirty girl! Come to your bad boy, oh *yes*...!
[Martin and Daphne stare at the radio; cut to Niles, listening to this in his car]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, no! Is that the on-air light?
Kate Costas : Stop talking.
Dr. Frasier Crane : You must have hit the switch with your elbow while we were...
Kate Costas : Stop talking.
Dr. Frasier Crane : We'd better hurry up and get dressed before...
Niles : STOP TALKING!
[distracted, he looks up, and brakes hard, but crashes into the car in front of him]
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Dr. Frasier Crane : I have to tell you, last night was one of the greatest nights of lovemaking I've had since... Roz!
Kate Costas : Tell me she just walked in.
[Roz walks in behind Kate]
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Kate Costas : So... nice place. Whoa, what a view!
Dr. Frasier Crane : [bitterly] Yes. I'll be enjoying it during my suspension.
Kate Costas : Well... I guess that concludes the small-talk portion of our evening. Look, it must be obvious; I've come here to apologise.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, really? For what? Turning on me when I went out of my way to protect you? You know we're both responsible for this. Yet I end up looking like an idiot and you look like a no- nonsense boss!
Kate Costas : All right, all right, just tell me what I can do to make this right.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Nothing! There is nothing you can do, there is nothing you can say, to make this up to me.
Kate Costas : [no-nonsense] The owners wanted you fired.
Dr. Frasier Crane : ...That's pretty good!
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Kate Costas : I really think that we should slow things down.
Dr. Frasier Crane : [relieved] Oh, I am so glad you said that! I wanted to say the same thing but I was, I was afraid that you'd feel I was rejecting you!
Kate Costas : Oh, how sensitive. And yet, at the same time, how full of yourself.