- Dr. Frasier Crane: Let me be frank because an artist of your caliber deserves honesty. An acting performance is a journey of discovery. This brief rehearsal time that we've given you is - is far too short to reach... Parnassus, home of the muses.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Forgive us for being so blunt.
- Jackson Hedley: Ahhh! You must be the Crane pater. It is a pleasure to encounter the head waters whence spring these twin rivers upon which I have launched my humble craft.
- Martin Crane: Likewise.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Half of me feels guilty, the other half feels relieved. Actually, it's about 30-70.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Frasier, this is going to be humiliating. Not just for us, but for Jackson. What are we gonna do?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What all good producers do. We'll shut down and blame the director!
- Dr. Niles Crane: I got your message. It sounded urgent.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, it's about Jackson.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh please, don't tell me he's getting any worse. Yesterday I saw the stage hands passing out earplugs.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: It's not his fault He's only rusty. After years on that ridiculous space opera, he's picked up some bad habits. Well, I was fortunate enough to find a video tape of his one-man show and once he sees this it will remind him of what good acting is. You know, shake loose the artist from the android.
- Dr. Niles Crane: That, sir, is why you are the first Crane in "Crane And Crane Productions".