Frasier (TV Series)

Three Days of the Condo (1997)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frasier : I'm sorry, Daphne, I'm afraid this is my fault. Ms. Langer's simply retaliated against me. You see, last night I rather humiliated her in a dazzling display of rhetoric!

  Daphne Moon : I heard you spilled your briefcase all over the floor.

  Frasier : You know, this building has a grapevine Ernest and Julio Gallo would envy!

• Niles : Excuse me, you saw my Maris completely naked?

  Frasier : Oh, don't fret, Niles, it was really nothing more than a fleeting glance in a very steamy bathroom. More like glimpsing a birch sapling through a thick fog.

  Niles : Life is so unfair! You get a vision of my Maris, I get a big eye-full of Dad!

  Frasier : Well, I say we hit about the same level on the "Yikes!" meter!

• Frasier : I can install a simple door knocker on my own.

  [He puts the knocker up to the door, then stares at it in confusion] 

  Martin Crane : You probably need a screwdriver.

  Frasier : That's exactly what I was about to get.

  [He looks around in confusion] 

  Martin Crane : It's in the tool drawer.

  [Frasier doesn't move, still confused] 

  Martin Crane : The drawer under that big tea server thing.

  Frasier : Dad, that is a Byelorussan samovar! My God, how long have you lived here?

• Niles : Surely you're not actually thinking of running? You've never held an elective office in your life!

  Frasier : Are you forgetting I served two terms back in high school as grand panem tandrum of the vocabulary club?

• Frasier : But why can't I see who you are?

  Dr. Dorfman : Because I'm remodeling my bathroom. If she found out I was talking to you, she would never approve my bidet.

• Dr. Dorfman : Just think of me as "Mr. X"!

  ["Mr. X" gets into his car and drives away] 

  Frasier : That would work better without the vanity plates, Dr. Dorfman!

• Daphne Moon : [reading a letter]  "Dear Dr. Crane, we have polled the building. The election is yours, good work. Signed, Anonymous." But wouldn't this be more anonymous if it didn't say, "From the desk of Dr. William M. Dorfman"?

  Frasier : Yes, well, now you see why they need me.