The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (TV Series)
Will Goes a Courtin' (1993)
James Avery: Philip Banks
Quotes
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Geoffrey : [to Uncle Phil] Would you like a Swedish meatball, sir?
Philip Banks : Don't mind if I do.
[goes to get one]
Geoffrey : Only one, sir. The rest are for Master William and his friends, poolside.
Philip Banks : What? I can't believe that he would deliberately disobey me!
Geoffrey : I wouldn't call it disobedience, sir. It's more like outright defiance.
[Uncle Phil storms outside; Geoffrey moves his hands like a puppeteer]
Geoffrey : That's it! Dance, puppets, dance!
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Philip Banks : [to Will and Carlton] How dare you two defy me?
Carlton Banks : Now, see here, big guy!
[Uncle Phil pokes Carlton's duck tube causing it to pop]
Carlton Banks : Oh, my God! Howard!
[runs away and starts crying]
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Phillip Banks : All right, Will... if that's the way you want it... Mm ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
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Steffi : Hi, Mr. Banks.
Philip Banks : Steffi, do your parents know you're here?
Steffi : I don't think so. They're in Aspen.
[sees a guy pass by]
Steffi : And I'm in heaven!
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Steffi : Hi, Mr. Banks.
Philip Banks : Steffi, do your parents know you're here?
Steffi : The hell with my parents! Will taught me that.
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Philip Banks : [when Will tries to give him a handshake] I don't want your hand, I want my rent.
William 'Will' Smith : Oh, man, I don't believe... did you learn nothing from all this mess?
Philip Banks : Yeah. Never rent to relatives.
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Philip Banks : [to Carlton] Do you know how humiliating it is to have a son who can't swim?
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Steffi : Hello, Mr. Banks.
Philip Banks : What's she doing here?
William 'Will' Smith : She wandered over, lonely and crying. I didn't have the heart to turn her away.
Philip Banks : Hit the bricks, you little tramp!
[Steffi runs away]
Philip Banks : Out of here! And tell your mother your father has a girlfriend!
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William 'Will' Smith : [to Uncle Phil] No, check it out. On the serious tip, you got to fix our air conditioner today. We got some people coming over for a party and as good hosts, we'd prefer that they didn't melt.
Philip Banks : Sorry, Uncle Phil has left the building. You're now talking to Landlord Banks and he's not fixing anything until he gets his rent.
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Philip Banks : Will, I am going back in the house and when I come out, I want all of these people gone.
William 'Will' Smith : Well, they will be if you come out in the morning, Uncle Phil.
Philip Banks : Wait, wait. Let me get this straight, young man. You are telling me what will or will not happen in my own house?
William 'Will' Smith : Excuse me, but this is my house. I pay rent here too, eventually.
Philip Banks : You watch how you talk to me.
William 'Will' Smith : Well, then, Uncle Phil, stop treating me like a child.
Philip Banks : Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a man.
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William 'Will' Smith : [to Hilary] Okay, Miss Banks, you were the previous tenant in the aforementioned pool house, is that correct?
Hilary Banks : Yes.
William 'Will' Smith : And would you please tell us of your experiences there?
Hilary Banks : Am I under oath?
Judge : Of course.
Hilary Banks : Well, Trevor would come over at about...
William 'Will' Smith , Carlton Banks , Philip Banks : Objection!
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Philip Banks : Silence. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
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Carlton Banks : We're going to appeal this decision. I intend to cite the landmark case of "Rhode Island v. Schechter Poultry."
Philip Banks : That has to do with the right to hang dead chickens in a butcher-shop window.
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[first lines]
[Phil is on the phone with Vivian in Philadelphia]
Philip Banks : Everything is fine, Vivian. Tell Ashley and Nicky that I miss them too. Okay? Okay, love you. Oh, kiss your sister for me.
[hangs up the phone]
Philip Banks : God knows I wouldn't do it.