Friends (TV Series)

The One Where Old Yeller Dies (1996)

Jennifer Aniston: Rachel Green

Quotes 

• Rachel Green : I do not think what our children's names are gonna be!

  Dr. Ross Geller : [Ross looks at her] 

  Rachel Green : You know what our children's names are gonna be!

  Dr. Ross Geller : No, no, I mean you know, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily, and I thought, I thought it might be good.

  Rachel Green : What was the book?

  Dr. Ross Geller : ...The big book of children's name.

• Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Whatcha guys doin'?

  Dr. Richard Burke : Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.

  Phoebe Buffay : Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.

  Rachel Green : What?

  Dr. Ross Geller : What're you talking about?

  Phoebe Buffay : C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Yeah, but Pheebs, what about the end?

  Phoebe Buffay : What when Yeller saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?

  Rachel Green : That's not the end.

  Phoebe Buffay : Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.

  Monica Geller : What about the part where he has rabies?

  Phoebe Buffay : He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.

  Dr. Richard Burke : Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.

  Phoebe Buffay : What, what's about to happen?

  [starts watching] 

  Phoebe Buffay : I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, whatcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no, no Travis, put down the gun. No, no, no, no he-he's your buddy. He's your Yeller! No, no, no! The end, THE END!

  [hears the gunshot from the TV] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what kind of sick doggy snuff film is this?

• Rachel Green : [Rachel and Ross are sparring about the fact that Ross is already planning their whole common life. Both speak at some elevated tone]  Okay, Ross, Ross. Okay, listen. What we have is amazing.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Yeah.

  Rachel Green : But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. That's what I had with Barry. That was one of the reasons I left. I like not knowing right now. And I'm sorry if that scares you, but if you want to be with me, you are going to have to deal with that.

  Dr. Ross Geller : OK, fine.

  Rachel Green : Thank you.

  Dr. Ross Geller : We're not done.

  Rachel Green : I didn't know that.

  Dr. Ross Geller : And then you're going to have to understand that you're with a guy who's not going to stop planning his future with you because he knows we're going to end up together. And if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're going to have to deal with that.

  Rachel Green : Fine, I will.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Good. 'Cause I love you.

  Rachel Green : Oh, yeah?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Yeah.

  Rachel Green : Well, I love you too.

  Dr. Ross Geller : That's the first time we've said that.

  Rachel Green : Yes, it is.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Well, I'm going to kiss you.

  Rachel Green : Well, you better.

  [Then Ross goes to Rachel to kiss her] 

• Monica : Rachel, I got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.

  Rachel Green : Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.

  Monica : You know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo. Maybe there's something helpful in there. If not, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at-home bikini wax with leftover Christmas candles.

• Dr. Ross Geller : [comes in Monica and Rachel's apartment, while he holds Ben]  Okay, what the hell happened back there?

  Rachel Green : I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football. The next thing I know I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.

  Rachel Green : Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks!