- Dr. Ross Geller: [inspecting the books at Susan and Carol's place] Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
- Susan Bunch: Well, you know, you have to take a course... Otherwise they don't let you do it.
- Chandler Bing: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here...
- [while clinking his wine glass]
- Chandler Bing: Ding ding.
- [resumes his speech]
- Chandler Bing: I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean,
- [to Rachel]
- Chandler Bing: if you'd gone to Vail,
- [to Monica and Ross]
- Chandler Bing: and if you guys'd been with your family,
- [to Joey]
- Chandler Bing: if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
- All: That's so sweet.
- Ross Geller: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
- Rachel Green: And a crappy New Year.
- Chandler Bing: Here, here!
- Chandler Bing: [rushes in] Oh, my God! Underdog has broken loose and is flying over the city!
- Joey: The balloon?
- Chandler Bing: No, no... The actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon!
- Monica: Hey Rach did you make your money?
- Rachel Green: No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.
- Phoebe Buffay: Ew...
- Rachel Green: What?
- Phoebe Buffay: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven!
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, my God! He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
- Joey: [the gang rushes to the window] All right, Ugly Naked Guy!
- Monica: Ooh, ugly naked dancing!
- Phoebe Buffay: It's nice that he has someone.
- Rachel Green: [needs $100] Hi. You come in here all the time... I was just wondering, you think there's a possibility you could give me an advance on my tips?
- Phoebe Buffay: [Thanksgiving dinner] Ooh, you got the bigger part. What did you wish for?
- Joey: The bigger part.
- Phoebe Buffay: [to Joey, who"s the new VD poster boy] No, we were just laughing. You know how it can be infectious.
- [then realizes what she had just said]
- [first lines]
- Rachel Green: Terry, I - I - I know I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering. You think it might be possible if I got a hundred dollar advance on my salary?
- Terry: An advance?
- Rachel Green: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail. Normally my father pays for my ticket, but... I sort of started this whole independent thing, you know. It is actually why I took this
- [air-signals quotation marks:]
- Rachel Green: job.
- [chuckles]
- Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart... You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.
- Rachel Green: Okay, I - I hear what you're saying. I'm with you. Uh... but - but I'm trying *really* hard, and I think I'm doing better. I really do.
- [demonstrates:]
- Rachel Green: Does anybody need coffee?
- [everybody wants!]
- Chandler Bing: Are you wearing makeup?
- Joey: [proudly] Yes, I am. As of today I'm officially Joey Tribbiani, actor-slash-model.
- [to waitress Rachel, who just brought his drink:]
- Joey: Thank you.
- Chandler Bing: That's so funny, because I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man-slash-woman.