Friends (TV Series)

The One at the Beach (1997)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chandler Bing : Besides, worse comes to worse, I'll be your boyfriend.

  Monica Geller : [laughs]  Yeah, right.

  Chandler Bing : [puzzled]  Why is that so funny?

  Monica Geller : [amused]  You made a joke, right? So I laughed.

  Chandler Bing : [nervous laugh, then totally serious]  A little too hard. What, am I not boyfriend material?

  Monica Geller : [still amused]  No, your Chandler. You know, Chandler?

  [punches Chandler on the arm] 

  Chandler Bing : [pretending to be joking]  Okay, so we've established my name, and hit me.

  [then serious] 

  Chandler Bing : But theoretically, you know, I mean, say we weren't friends, it's a blind date, I show up on your door and I'm like,

  [deepens voice] 

  Chandler Bing : "Hey, nice to meet you, hey, hey."

  Monica Geller : I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.

• [the friends enter the beach house] 

  Monica Geller : [to Monica]  You know what this reminds me of? Um, why couldn't I be your boyfriend?

  Monica Geller : [smiles but in disbelief]  Are you still *on* that?

  Chandler Bing : [gladly]  Uh-huh.

  Joey Tribbiani : [cooly]  Would you let it go already?

  Monica Geller : [gladly]  Thank you Joey.

  Joey Tribbiani : [puts down his suitcase]  But you'd go out with me, right?

  Monica Geller : [trying not to laugh]  No! You're the same as with Chandler - we're friends.

  Joey Tribbiani : Well, let's say we were the last two guys on the face of the planet, and you had a gun to your head. Which one would you pick?

  Monica Geller : [smartly]  Which one of you has the gun to my head?

• [the gang is ready to travel to the beach. Rachel arrives, wearing a ridiculously big hat] 

  Joey Tribbiani : [chuckles]  Hey-hey, check out the hat!

  Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I can't have children!

  Monica Geller : Seriously, where did you get the hat?

  Rachel Green : [points at Ross]  Ross gave it to me.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Yeah, I think she looks good.

  Rachel Green : [smiles at Ross]  Ohh, thank you.

  Chandler Bing : Buy it for you, or win it for you?

  Rachel Green : Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.

  Phoebe Buffay : And this time, they've ganged up to form one giant, super hat!

• [it's pouring rain and the six friends run towards the beach house with Joey and Ross sheltering themselves with their suitcases and Chandler and Monica sheltering under Rachel's big hat as Phoebe unlocks the doors] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : [sheltering himself with his suitcase]  Go! Go! Go!

  Rachel Green : [annoyed]  Oh yeah! Now everybody wants to be *under* the hat!

  [Phoebe opens the doors, turns on the lights and the friends enter the beach house find the floor completely covered with sand] 

  Chandler Bing : [slowly]  Oh.

  Rachel Green : [surprised]  Aye.

  Monica Geller : [picks up some sand]  What's with all the sand?

  Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Bob said there might be flood damage.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Either that or he has a really big cat!

• Rachel Green : [painting Monica's fingernails]  All done!

  Monica Geller : Thank you.

  Rachel Green : [looks around the room]  OK! Who's next?

  [Rachel eyes Ross] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : [trying not to laugh but definite]  No!

  [Rachel shows big eyes as if to say, "Please?"] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : [trying not laugh]  No way!

  Rachel Green : [desparate]  Come on please? I'm bored! You let me do it once before.

  [Ross reacts and looks at Joey, who looks at Chandler as if to say, "When was this?" and Chandler's expression implies, "Don't look at me."] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : [looks at Rachel with a simple tone]  Yeah well if er... if *that's* the rule this weekend...

  [Rachel gets up and approaches Ross] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : [at the same time as Rachel]  No. Get away. Stay... No. No!

  Rachel Green : [at the same time as Ross]  Yeah. Come on. Take it like a man Ross. Come on. Oh, come on.

  [Ross gets up, runs around the room and Rachel chases him and he accidentally flattens one of Chandler's sandcastles as he runs by] 

  Chandler Bing : [very annoyed]  Big bullies!

  [Ross jumps on the sofa, Rachel jumps on top of him, they hold each other off but stop and look in each others' eyes] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [enters the beach house and puts down her umbrella]  Hey! So how are we doing?

  Chandler Bing : [as Ross and Rachel get up]  Bored and bored.

  Joey Tribbiani : [grinning]  Hey! You know what naked card game's never boring?

  Rachel Green , Monica Geller , Dr. Ross Geller , Chandler Bing : No!

• Monica Geller : So what's Phoebe like?

  Phoebe Buffay : [thinks Monica is talking about her and tries to sound polite]  I'm kind, caring and sweet. What's Monica like?

  [Monica realises how unclear her question was] 

  Monica Geller : Uh no. The *other* Phoebe. The one you went to go see?

  Phoebe Buffay : [suddenly cheerful]  Oh! I think she knows where my Dad is!

  Joey Tribbiani : What?

  Chandler Bing , Dr. Ross Geller : [almost at the same time as Joey]  Cool!

  Rachel Green : [almost at the same time as Ross and Chandler]  Really?

  Monica Geller : Well where is he?

  Phoebe Buffay : She was actually - she was pretending like she hadn't heard from him in years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look! Isn't this what he would look like now?

  [Phoebe takes a picture out of her pocket and shows it to her friends] 

  Monica Geller : [gasps]  Totally familiar.

  Phoebe Buffay : Yeah.

  Dr. Ross Geller , Rachel Green , Joey Tribbiani : [one after the other as they look at they look at the picture]  Oh yeah!

  Monica Geller : But why would she lie to you?

  Phoebe Buffay : [Rachel offers her the picture and Phoebe takes it]  I don't know, but we're having dinner tomorrow night so I figured, she's gonna tell me *then*. You know, maybe she'll want to give him time to... buy me presents.

  [the friends agree and Phoebe puts the picture in her pocket] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [happily]  So, you're all bored?

  Dr. Ross Geller , Rachel Green , Joey Tribbiani : [almost in unison]  Awww.

  Chandler Bing : Yes.

  Phoebe Buffay : [happily]  All right. I'm gonna close my eyes and point to someone and whoever I point to has to come up with something fun for us to do and we *have* to do it!

  Joey Tribbiani : [hyped up]  OK! All right! Fan out! Fan out!

  [the friends spread out] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [happily]  OK.

  [Phoebe closes her eyes and spins round pointing with her right hand] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [enjoying herself]  Ooh! You know, we could just do this!

  [Phoebe stops spinning and opens her eyes and sees that she's point at Chandler] 

  Chandler Bing : [unsure]  OK. Um... we all have to... play Strip Poker.

  Joey Tribbiani : [overjoyed]  AH YES!