Friends (TV Series)

The One with All the Resolutions (1999)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Quotes 

• Phoebe : My New Year's Resolution is to pilot a commercial jet plane.

  Chandler : That's great Pheebs, now all you have to do is find a plane load of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.

• Joey : What's the matter?

  Chandler : We wanted to kiss at midnight but nobody else is going to, so, you know...

  Joey : Alright... I'll take care of it.

  Monica Geller : Joey! It's thirty seconds to midnight, what are you gonna do?

  Joey : Will you just trust me?

  [Heads to Ross] 

  Ross : 33, 32, 31...

  Joey : Ross, Ross, listen, who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?

  Ross : What?

  Joey : Well, you gotta kiss someone, can't kiss your sister.

  Ross : Well, who's gonna kiss my sister?

  Joey : Chandler.

  Ross : Oh, man, really?

  Joey : Dude, who would you rather to have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?

  Ross : That's good point. Well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.

  Joey : Ok, great

  [Goes over to Phoebe] 

  Joey : Pheebs, Pheebs, listen. Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.

  Phoebe : It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask.

  Joey : [Going over to Rachel]  Rache, Rache. Listen, I'm going to kiss you at midnight.

  Rachel : What?

  Joey : Everybody's gotta kiss someone, can't kiss Ross, you got the history.

  Rachel : So?

  Joey : So, who'd you Rather kissing you, me or Chandler?

  Rachel : Oh, good point.

  [Countdown is over and they all kiss] 

• Phoebe : Ok, lesson one, chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords, but I made up names for the way my hands look while I'm doing them. So this Bear Claw, Turkey Leg and Old Lady.