- Ross: [staring through the peephole to see Rachel come back from her date with Mark] I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. She'd say no, but here we are, right. We just broke up, first thing she does.
- Chandler: You didn't just break up!
- Ross: Hey, it's been like, three weeks!
- Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower!
- Kate Miller: I have a question about this scene.
- The Director: Yes.
- Kate Miller: Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor.
- The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, he's good looking.
- Joey Tribbiani: Yeah.
- Kate Miller: I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of a reason than that.
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh, hey, how about this one? Uh, it says so in the script!
- [Hits script]
- Joey Tribbiani: You know, uh, I don't know why my character likes you either. I mean, it says in the script here that you're a bitch.
- Kate Miller: It doesn't say that in the script.
- Joey Tribbiani: It does in mine!
- Ross: [after Joey enters and exits the apartment singing] I guess he must've gotten the part in that play.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh!
- Monica: Oh!
- Chandler: Yeah, either that or Gloria Estefan *was* right. Eventually, the rhythm *is* going to get you.
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh I hate her with her, 'Oh I'm so talented, and ooh I'm so pretty and oooh I smell so good.'
- Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
- Joey Tribbiani: Chandler, can we please try to stay focused on my problem here.
- Chandler: Ross, you gotta stop, okay? You can't just stare through the peephole for 3 hours. You're gonna get peep eye.
- Joey Tribbiani: Just because she went to Yale Drama, she thinks she's like, the greatest actress since sliced bread.
- Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.
- Ross: [after putting on his "Frankie say 'Relax'" T-shirt] Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna take the rest of my stuff and *relax* in my favorite shirt.
- Pete: So, you know, that's why within a few years that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. So you can be, like, like, "Wash my car", "Clean my room". You know it's not gonna be able to do any of those things, but it'll understand what you're saying.
- Phoebe Buffay: Why isn't it spidermen? you know like goldman, silverman...
- Chandler: Because it's not his last name.
- Phoebe Buffay: It isn't?
- Chandler: No, it's not like phil spidermen. he's a spider man. you know like goldman is a last name but there's no gold man.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh ok. there should be a gold man.