- Tim: I have to confess something.
- Tomas: What is it man?
- Tim: It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife.
- Joey Tribbiani: So you're the gynecologist?
- Tim: Hey I'm trying to have a private conversation here!
- Tomas: [Breaks down] Oh no, man, oh no!
- [Rachel hands him the napkin dispenser and he scrabbles with it]
- Tomas: Just... just give me the thing, okay?
- [storms out]
- Tomas: And you! You are no longer my friend! We're through! Kaput!
- Pete: [about becoming the Ultimate Fighting Champion] One day, kids will wonder who'd win in a fight: me or Superman. Of course I can't beat Superman, but you know, kids are stupid.
- Monica Geller: Sit down. All right, please, listen to me. You are terrible at this. You are the worst ultimate fighter ever. Ever.
- Pete: You know, I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture on my right forearm and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but *that* really hurt.
- Pete: It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks. It's a precaution. I'm not supposed to move my spine.
- Monica Geller: Please tell me you're stopping now.
- Pete: I'm fine! I'd fight tonight if they'd let me. See this circle I'm marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
- Monica Geller: Well, then, you know, what? I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then you're going to have to do it without me.
- Pete: Well, if you're asking me to quit, then you're asking me to be someone I'm not. I've got to do this.
- Monica Geller: Then I've got to go.
- Referee: [to Pete] Are you ready?
- Pete: [Nods]
- Referee: [to Tank] Are you ready?
- Tank Abbott: [Nods]
- Referee: Let's get it on!