Full House (TV Series)

Our Very First Night (1987)

John Stamos: Jesse Cochran

Photos 

Quotes 

• Danny Tanner : Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

  Jesse Cochran : What, what, what, what, what, what, what?

  Danny Tanner : Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame!

  Jesse Cochran : I feel like I'm being chewed out in the Grand Canyon.

• Danny Tanner : [after he catches everybody partying]  Attention, Solid Gold farm team.

  [He looks at D.J] 

  Danny Tanner : It is 12:23 and your hair is purple.

  [He walks over to take Stephanie off the speaker] 

  Danny Tanner : Get down and I don't mean get funky.

  [He then walks over and casually puts his hands around Jesse and Joey] 

  Danny Tanner : Boys, boys, walk with me, talk with me.

  [yells] 

  Danny Tanner : How could you possibly let this happen?

  Joey Gladstone : [Puts a hand up to stop him]  Hold it. On behalf of Joey, I'd like to say that Joey is innocent.

  [Exhales] 

  Joey Gladstone : My name's Joey Gladstone and I'm a congaholic.

  D.J. Tanner : Well, look at the time. It's time to go to bed. Come on, Steph. Good night, everybody!

  [They both start for upstairs, but Danny stops them] 

  Danny Tanner : Girls, get back over here! You're just in about as much trouble as they are!

  D.J. Tanner : Dad, I know we're supposed to...

  Jesse Cochran : [Puts a hand up to stop D.J]  D.J, hang on a second. This was all my fault. I invited the band over. I woke the girls up. I ordered pizza. I was throwing a party, so I needed a couple chicks.

  Joey Gladstone : [Michelle cries upstairs]  Uh-oh, Baby alert,

  [makes siren noise] 

  Joey Gladstone : baby alert.

  Danny Tanner : [They all start up the stairs]  You girls get right in bed! You guys follow me and if that baby's hair is purple!

• D.J. Tanner , Stephanie Tanner : [sneak past Jesse on their way to the kitchen]  Both girls say: Hi, Uncle Jesse!

  Jesse Cochran : [Hanging up his coat]  Hi, girls.

  [Notices they are out of bed] 

  Jesse Cochran : Girls, whoa, whoa, whoa! Girls, girls! Aren't you supposed to be in bed dreaming about Tweety Bird, Big Bird, Larry Bird or something?

  D.J. Tanner : If dad knew we were hungry, he'd make sure we'd have a late night snack.

  Stephanie Tanner : We're going to have ice cream and cookies.

  [starts towards the fridge] 

  Jesse Cochran : Freeze, munchkin!

  [She does as she is told] 

  Jesse Cochran : I'm pretty hip here. You guys think that I'm an idiot or something?

  [Both girls look at each other, then look at him again] 

  Jesse Cochran : Because I know what's going on here. Your dad's gone for the night and it's "let's take advantage of the babysitter" time. Well, I got some news for you girls. Your uncle Jesse's a little too sharp to be taken on that kind of ride. You can have ice cream and chocolate milk. No cookies!

  Stephanie Tanner : Yay!

  [D.J. puts a hand over Stephanie's mouth to quiet her] 

  D.J. Tanner : [acts put out]  Okay.

• Danny Tanner : [trying to sing Michelle to sleep]  Lullaby, and goodnight, and some other words I don't know...

  Joey Gladstone : Conga!

  [they start humming a conga tune and dance out of the room] 

  Jesse Cochran : [to Joey's imaginary brother]  This way, Leon.

• Danny Tanner : [to Jesse]  I guess I should be grateful the house is still standing. I must have been crazy to think that you could take care of my daughters. You really let me down.

  Jesse Cochran : [notices Danny leaving the room]  Wait a minute! Where are you going?

  Danny Tanner : [sarcastic]  Well, I figure I'd call up the Beastie Boys and see if they can take the girls to the park, tomorrow!

• Jesse Cochran : I'm here for 12 hours and you expect me to be Robert Young.