- Cubert J. Farnsworth: [speaking into a device that makes his voice sound like Professor Farnsworth] Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I am? That's not good news at all!
- Hermes Conrad: [angrily] You rotten kids!
- [nicely]
- Hermes Conrad: Uh, will you be hiring?
- Dwight Conrad: No.
- Hermes Conrad: [angrily] You rotten kids!
- Bender: [produces Baseball bat] Ahh... I guess if you want to have children beaten, you have to do it yourself.
- Sal: Gets movings. These papers ain't gonna deliver themselveses. Only the Sunday edition can dos that.
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: How dare they call us kids? We're old enough to find the Fox network infantile.
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: [to Leela] Well, if it isn't my dear friend Stretch Pants...
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: [to Bender] No Pants...
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: [to Fry] and... Idiot.
- Dr. Zoidberg: What is this? Angry shouting or hearing-aid-busted shouting?
- Hermes Conrad: I'm afraid it's both.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [shouting] What?
- [Fry and Leela walk into the room - Bender is on the couch, "pregnant" with brewing beer]
- Bender: I'm really starting to swell up with beer. I must look ridiculous.
- Fry: Nah, you have a healthy glow.
- Bender: [Bender belches] Oh my god! I just felt it ferment!
- Fry: Ooo! Let me feel.
- Leela: [She and Fry sit next to Bender. She puts her ear to his chest] Have you thought about what to name it?
- Bender: I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale, Botweiser if it's a lager.
- Fry: I hope it's a lager so I can take it to a ball game.
- [Bender belches again. Leela giggles]
- Fry: Ooo! I felt that one!
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: We just got done delivering a million papers, and this is how you greet us? With frosty, cold beers?
- Bender: Ah, beer. So many choices, and it makes so little difference.
- Fry: How 'bout Löwbrau? It has dots.
- Bender: Overruled! The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot.
- Fry: I can't drink that. The metal shavings make my throat bloody.
- Bender: Wah, wah! Baby wants a Zima!
- Leela: Hey, hey! We can all fight when we're drunk.
- Leela: If you were my kids, you would get quite the talking to. From your father. When he got home from the Senate.
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: There's a crack in the hull here. That could cause explosive decompression.
- Dwight Conrad: Put a sticker on it.
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: What the hell do you want?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Mr. Blob, our sons have come to apologize for damaging your window. They've learned their lesson and they want to make amends.
- Cubert J. Farnsworth: Sorry, sir.
- Dwight Conrad: Yeah, sorry.
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: You can shove your apology into the bottom of your one-way digestive system.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now see here! We assured our sons that you'd accept their apology.
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: Aww. Tell you what, I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass! Which I don't have!
- [laughs]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No one give my boy that option!
- Hermes Conrad: Bring it on, Jello-pop!