- John: Hi, our answering machine is technically broken. This is the air conditioner. Please leave a message.
- John: Des Renford would regularly take on the English Channel, Bryan. He would drop his tweeds, pull on a pair of oversized budgie smugglers, and he would drop a bomb off the white cliffs of Dover and start rolling his arm over.
- Bryan: Des Renford?
- John: Yes. He would then disappear off the world's radar screens for about three weeks. Subsequently he would be found, lying on a beach near Calais somewhere, with a school of herring up his snorer. He'd be in intensive care for about a fortnight. He would then swim back to England, Bryan, and get his towel.
- Bryan: And your point is, Mr Clarke?
- John: As a distinct from your modern athlete, who is provided with a waterproof five-star hotel suite which they drag from one side of the channel to the other. It only takes about 40 minutes. They give them a wake-up call five minutes out.
- Bryan: You're mad.
- John: Question from a viewer, Nicholas: why are you smuggling Scottish skeet shooters into the country disguised as Bulgarian wrestlers?