- Gracie Allen: Is there anything you want me to say to your Aunt Hazel?
- Ronnie Burns: Who?
- Gracie Allen: Your Aunt Hazel. Your aunt, my sister, Bessie's sister, Pearl's sister, my mother's daughter and my father's, and your Uncle Fred's wife... I wonder how Hazel finds time to do all those things.
- Gracie Allen: How long does it take for a birthday cake to fly to San Francisco?
- George Burns: Well, that's a normal, everyday question, so I'll give you a normal, everyday answer. What are you talking about?
- Gracie Allen: Well, tomorrow's my sister Hazel's birthday and I mailed her a cake this afternoon. I hope she gets it in time.
- George Burns: Hope you didn't light the candles.
- Gracie Allen: Oh George, please! There weren't even any candles on the cake. You know Hazel, how she's always trying to hide her age. With all those candles it would remind her of it.
- George Burns: So what did you do?
- Gracie Allen: Well, I helped her. I baked the candles inside the cake.
- Gracie Allen: I saw this man trying to tie a package, so I said, "Can I help you?" And he said, "Oh, I wish you would. I've been working on this knot so long my tongue is hanging out. Would you put your finger on it for me?"
- George Burns: Gracie, you didn't!
- Gracie Allen: No.
- George Burns: Good.
- Gracie Allen: Well, I couldn't. When I tried, he wouldn't even open his mouth!