- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: Getting back to these questions, now this is a very general literary quiz which you must pass to qualify for our club.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, I love quizzes! Do the questions have to be answered correctly?
- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: It would help.
- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: In order to be sure to make you a member of our club, I brought you these questions and these answers, and before the other members of the committee come, you can take a peek at them.
- Gracie Allen: Well, peeking at the other members wouldn't do any good - but peeking at these answers will!
- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: I wanted to be sure that you'd memorized the information I left for you so that we could destroy the list before the committee got here, if you know what I mean.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, yes! Oh, you think of everything, Mrs. Sohmers. Your mind is so wonderfully crooked!
- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: [Gracie is supposed to memorize the answers to a quiz but she instead memorizes the questions] You didn't learn the answers?
- Gracie Allen: Well, I thought the questions were much more important.
- Mrs. Millicent Sohmers: How did you arrive at that conclusion?
- Gracie Allen: Well, I've been watching a quiz show and I noticed that people who know the answers come and go but the man who knows the questions comes back every week.
- Harry Morton: Really, Blanche, the hold Gracie has on you is incredible! Would you give me a truthful answer to a hypothetical question?
- Blanche Morton: Well, sure.
- Harry Morton: Suppose the three of us were on a ship. Gracie and I were swept overboard. Now, you are at the rail with two life preservers. To whom would you throw the first one?
- Blanche Morton: To Gracie.
- Harry Morton: I thought so!
- Blanche Morton: Then I'd throw her the second one in case she might've missed the first one.
- Harry Morton: And leave me to my fate?
- Blanche Morton: Oh, Harry, you don't have to worry! You have enough hot air in you to keep you floating for days!
- Gracie Allen: In school, I got very good marks in literature and I would've done much better if I wasn't distracted by that little Ernie Bergman.
- George Burns: What did he do to distract you?
- Gracie Allen: Well, how would you feel if the boy who sat in front of you kept dipping his pigtails into the inkwells?
- George Burns: The boy - and he had pigtails?
- Gracie Allen: He used to bring them to school; his father was a butcher.