George Lopez (TV Series)

Why You Crying? (2004)

Luis Armand Garcia: Max Lopez

Quotes 

• Max Lopez : I've got a better idea. Why don't you take your tired ass home?

  [Benny slaps him] 

• Benny : In my day, disciplining your kids is now called child abuse. Keeping an eye on your man is now called stalking. Hell, back then, no meant yes, at least it did with me.

  [Max doesn't get it] 

  Benny : Anyway... I guess what I'm saying is... well, here's a twenty, are we cool?

  Max Lopez : Yeah, we're cool. I'm sorry about what I said.Grandma.

  Benny : Ah forget it, we all say stupid stuff.

  Max Lopez : Grandma, did your dad ever say he gave up on you?

  Benny : Max, where's this coming from?

  Max Lopez : I'm falling behind in school and Dad says he's quitting me.

  Benny : Wow, you know my dad might've beaten me like an old rug but he never gave up on me. You might think about getting your crap together.

• George Lopez : What kind of job are you going to have if you don't finish high school?

  Max Lopez : I can be a pro skateboarder.

  George Lopez : Really? Cuz I don't see many pro skaters coming in the house going 'Mommy! My elbow, kiss it!'

  Max Lopez : Okay, well I can still work in a skate shop.

  George Lopez : So you clear a couple hundred bucks a month.

  Max Lopez : A couple hundred dollars? That would be so cool! I could get a nice car, a big house!

  George Lopez : Whoa! You can't afford a car and house on your salary. I mean you could, if you lived in a bad neighborhood.

  Max Lopez : So I'll live in a bad neighborhood.

  George Lopez : [takes his skateboard]  Ohhh man, they just stole your car.

  Max Lopez : No way.

  George Lopez : You could run after them.

  Max Lopez : Yeah, I'll get it back.

  George Lopez : Ah man, you just got shot!

• Angie Lopez : Did Grandma apologize to you?

  Max Lopez : [shows his $20 bill]  No, but she gave me 20 reasons to get over it.

  Angie Lopez : [to Benny]  That's your answer? You buy family?

  Benny : All those celebrity lesbian couples do it.

  George Lopez : Let's see, $20 a smack you owe me about two hundred thousand dollars.

  Benny : Ah shut your identity hole!