- Chief of Control: [to 86] I want you to use your watch-phone tonight. I don't want you taking off your shoe at the party.
- Mr. Natz: A genius killer. What do you call him?
- Dr. Ratton: Hymie.
- Mr. Natz: Hymie?
- Dr. Ratton: I made him, I call him what I want.
- Mr. Natz: But Hymie?
- Dr. Ratton: My father's name was Hymie.
- Mr. Natz: Okay, call him what you want.
- Dr. Ratton: [about Hymie] There's only one thing he isn't able to do.
- Mr. Natz: What's that?
- Dr. Ratton: Set up a lawn chair.
- Agent 44: [breaks down and cries] It isn't fair, I'm a good agent. I haven't been able to wear my tuxedo once. Not once! And who'd see it in a clock?
- Maxwell Smart: Natz! So you're behind this!
- Mr. Natz: I've been waiting for this for a long time, Smart. I never got a chance to show you how grateful I am for those ten long years I spend in prison.
- Maxwell Smart: You call this gratitude?
- Maxwell Smart: Would you like to join Control?
- Hymie: No thank you.
- Maxwell Smart: No?
- Hymie: I just don't like violence.
- # 99: What would you like to do?
- Hymie: I'd like to work for IBM.
- Chief of Control: Oh, because of your scientific curiosity?
- Hymie: No, it's a nice way to meet some intelligent machines.
- Mr. Natz: That is why we have come to you. Probably the most accomplished evil genius in America.
- Dr. Ratton: In the world.
- Hymie: [sign] The blue sun melts the red snow.
- Maxwell Smart: [countersign] And the purple water runs up hill.
- Hymie: Agent Smart?
- Maxwell Smart: Yes. You must be 91.
- Hymie: My name is Hymie.
- Maxwell Smart: Hymie?
- Hymie: My father's name was Hymie.
- Maxwell Smart: [to Hymie] I know that under that metal body of yours, there beats the mechanical heart of a really nice guy.
- # 99: Hymie, you're crying.
- Maxwell Smart: Take it easy Hymie. You'll rust your eyeball.
- Maxwell Smart: That's fantastic Hymie! You should get a medal for this. You knock me out.
- [Hymie punches Max and knocks him out]