Get Smart (TV Series)
Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend (1968)
Don Adams: Maxwell Smart
Quotes
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Maxwell Smart : You keep soap in your pocketbock?
Agent 99 : Well, it looks like soap and it feels like soap but actually it's a camouflage for a secret carrying case.
Maxwell Smart : Well what do you keep in the carrying case?
Agent 99 : Soap.
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Chief : [on fire hydrant-phone] Max, this could be the work of the League of Bald Headed Men, that's KAOS' smuggling unit. They're clever and ingenious. There's nothing they can't accomplish.
Maxwell Smart : [on steering wheel-phone] How come they can't grow hair?
Chief : Max, they don't wanna grow hair, that's their trademark. That's how they identify each other.
Maxwell Smart : Alright, Chief, I'll keep my eyes open. In the meantime, you pick up Yul Brynner and Dean Rusk.
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Jeweler : Can I help you?
Maxwell Smart : Yes, I'm looking for a diamond engagement ring for my fiancée. Money is no object.
Jeweler : Eh, what price did you have in mind?
Maxwell Smart : 80 dollars.
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Maxwell Smart : It's Spiegel's jewelry store, right around the corner of Spiegel's drugstore, next to Spiegel's delicatessen, where Spiegel's cleaners used to be.
Agent 99 : And where is that?
Maxwell Smart : Fourth and Spiegel.
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Chief : Absolutely brilliant!
Maxwell Smart : Thank you Chief.
Chief : Oh, not you, Max, I mean the way they smuggled the diamonds.