"Get Smart" Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend (TV Episode 1968) - Don Adams as Maxwell Smart

Maxwell Smart : You keep soap in your pocketbock?

Agent 99 : Well, it looks like soap and it feels like soap but actually it's a camouflage for a secret carrying case.

Maxwell Smart : Well what do you keep in the carrying case?

Agent 99 : Soap.
Chief : [on fire hydrant-phone] Max, this could be the work of the League of Bald Headed Men, that's KAOS' smuggling unit. They're clever and ingenious. There's nothing they can't accomplish.

Maxwell Smart : [on steering wheel-phone] How come they can't grow hair?

Chief : Max, they don't wanna grow hair, that's their trademark. That's how they identify each other.

Maxwell Smart : Alright, Chief, I'll keep my eyes open. In the meantime, you pick up Yul Brynner and Dean Rusk.
Jeweler : Can I help you?

Maxwell Smart : Yes, I'm looking for a diamond engagement ring for my fiancée. Money is no object.

Jeweler : Eh, what price did you have in mind?

Maxwell Smart : 80 dollars.
Maxwell Smart : It's Spiegel's jewelry store, right around the corner of Spiegel's drugstore, next to Spiegel's delicatessen, where Spiegel's cleaners used to be.

Agent 99 : And where is that?

Maxwell Smart : Fourth and Spiegel.
Chief : Absolutely brilliant!

Maxwell Smart : Thank you Chief.

Chief : Oh, not you, Max, I mean the way they smuggled the diamonds.

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart