Get Smart (TV Series)

Survival of the Fattest (1965)

Edward Platt: Chief of Control

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief : Now Max, this is a dangerous one. This woman is ruthless, and a potential killer. You'll be risking your life every moment.

  Chief : And... loving it.

• Agent #1 : [Max is being slapped around by the Control grill team]  Agent 86, you must remember something...

  Maxwell Smart : [exasperated]  Water... water... I gotta have some water.

  Chief : Here Max, this'll help

  [as the Chief hands him a glass of water, Max knocks it out of the Chief's hand] 

  Maxwell Smart : Don't give me any water, Chief! How do you expect me to break down and talk?

• Chief : Mary 'Jack' Armstrong, the strongest female counter spy in the world. Max, you've got to be especially carefull, she is gorgeous and deadly.

  Maxwell Smart : [with emphasis]  So... am I.

• Chief : Mary, I don't mean to pry, but how did a nice girl like you ever get into this rotten business?

  Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Well Thaddeus, it's a living.

• Maxwell Smart : And don't worry about a thing. I don't need any more help on this case than I did on my last case.

  Chief : Parker, how many men do we have?

• Chief : Max?

  Maxwell Smart : Yes, Chief.

  Chief : What's going on? Are you all right?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, I'm fine, Chief. You know me, never any problems.

  Chief : [to Parker]  He must be in trouble.

• Maxwell Smart : Listen, Chief. I don't know what we're gonna do with Mary Jack. There's no prison built that can hold her. She's the strongest, toughest, most vicious opponent I've ever faced in my entire life.

  Chief : Hello Mary.

  Maxwell Smart : Mary?

  Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Hello Thaddeus.

  Chief : Um, I'm the Chief now.

  Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Oh well that's wonderful! I didn't know you had been promoted.

  Chief : Well, of course we couldn't publish it. I tried to write to you, but, well, the only address I had was Care of KAOS.

• Chief : Oh, incidentally, the Prince sent you a gift in appreciation of your services to him and to his country

  Maxwell Smart : Well, that's very nice of the Prince, Chief.

  Chief : Well now, Max, you know the policy of CONTROL on things like that. CONTROL agents are not allowed to accept gratuities.

  Maxwell Smart : I know that, Chief. Don't worry, I'll send it back tomorrow.

  [the office door opens and a belly dancer dances in] 

  Maxwell Smart : Would you believe the day after tomorrow?