Get Smart (TV Series)

Witness for the Persecution (1967)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• # 99 : Now listen carefully. We've got to keep you out of sight for two weeks until after the Tudbury trial. Now we'll pretend to keep you here in Control headquarters. Actually we'll take you on a helicopter to hideout B, which is the penthouse suite in the Warfield hotel. Then we'll take you down an express elevator to hideout C which is the basement suite in the Warfield hotel. Then we'll take you out the back way up the fire escape to hideout D which is a shack on top of the Warfield hotel. Have you got that?

  Maxwell Smart : Not all of it, 99.

  # 99 : What part didn't you get?

  Maxwell Smart : The part after 'listen carefully'.

  # 99 : Don't worry, Max, I'll take you there myself. Believe me, KAOS will never, never know where you are.

  Maxwell Smart : I wouldn't be too sure of that, 99.

  # 99 : Well how could they possibly know?

  Maxwell Smart : I forgot to hang up the telephone. They're still on the other end.

• Maxwell Smart : Boy, that was close, officer. I almost got killed.

  Cop : Naturally. You were jay-walking. I'm gonna have to give you a ticket for that.

  Maxwell Smart : But they were shooting at me!

  Cop : That's homicide. I'm traffic.

• Maxwell Smart : But 99, you can't stay here all night.

  # 99 : Oh Max, we're in this together. I wanna feel that you're safe.

  Maxwell Smart : But you're a girl. What if my mother walked in? She just got used to seeing me in long pants.

• Dr. Bascomb : You took a terrible chance going out onto the street. What if you were seen by KAOS agents?

  Maxwell Smart : I was, how do you think I got like this? They shot at me twice, tried to stab me and run me over with a vegetable truck.

• Maxwell Smart : Just a minute, Mrs. Macklin, I'd like you to meet two colleagues of mine who work with me at the greeting card company.

  [indicating 99] 

  Maxwell Smart : Eh, this is Miss Primrose, who takes care of our Easter greetings, and this is Mr. Pepperfeathers

  [indicating Dr Bascomb] 

  Maxwell Smart : who's in charge of births and bereavements.