- Agent 66: Zach, there's nobody around. You don't need a gun.
- Zach Smart: This is not a gun, it's a flash light.
- [turns it on by pulling the trigger]
- Zach Smart: My flashlight
- [pulls out flashlight]
- Zach Smart: is a gun.
- Zach Smart: Those lab boys have way too much time on thier hands.
- 99: Where did you seat Bishop Tutu?
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Eh, Tutu is at 3.3.
- 99: You can't put Tutu at 3.3.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Why not?
- 99: For one, Tutu is at sixes and sevens with King Lazlo the 8th.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Ok, 99, I'll eighty-six Tutu from 3.3 and put him in 4.4.
- 99: That's ten times better.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: [Trudy runs in, notepad in hand] Oh, Trudy, I want you to make sure that the bomb-sniffing dogs have swept the embassy before the reception tonight.
- 99: Then clear the kitchen entrance for the arrival of President Mazabuka's limousine.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: And make sure that the catering people are checked for security.
- 99: And have a helicopter standing by ready for any emergency that might arise.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Have you got that, Trudy?
- Trudy: Of course I do. Make sure President Mazabuka has swept the kitchen, have the catering people sniff the dogs in the embassy and drive the limousine into the helicopter. Oh, and something about a bomb.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: [holds up his hands] Missed it by...
- [widens gap between hands]
- Chief Maxwell Smart: ... that much.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Hm. No little meatballs. The Reagans always had meatballs.
- the Brain: Try the fish, it's... brain food.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Really? Well if that fish is so smart, what's he doing on the plate?
- [moves of]
- the Brain: [dripping with sarcasm] Brilliant philosophical observation. I may have met my match...
- Zach Smart: Uncle Agent 13? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Florida.
- Agent 13: [hiding in a bowl of coleslaw] I'm doing a favor for your old man. Listen: I overheard two guys talking about killing President Mazabuka.
- Agent 66: What did they look like?
- Agent 13: Well, I couldn't see, I had coleslaw in my eyes. They used too much mayonnaise.
- the Kaos Chairwoman: [on phone] How are things proceeding, Brain?
- the Brain: [on celular phone] I have entered phase six of the operation.
- the Kaos Chairwoman: Phase six? I understood there were only two phases.
- the Brain: There were, but it wasn't complex enough for my abnormally large brain, so I added twelve new phases.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Who could be controlling her mind?
- Zach Smart: The Brain.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: That's a given, son.
- Zach Smart: No, the KAOS scientist 'the Brain'.
- Chief Maxwell Smart: Ah, the Brain, of course, we should should try and steal him. Just think what we could do if we only had a Brain.