Get Smart (TV Series)

Wurst Enemies (1995)

Don Adams: Chief Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• Chief Maxwell Smart : Siegfried, how did you get this number?

  Siegfried : I'm on your kid's schneaker-phone.

  Chief Maxwell Smart : Zach's schnearker - sneaker-phone?

• Chief Maxwell Smart : How is Shtarker?

  Siegfried : Very well. He has this small shoe repair kiosk in the Heidelberg train station. He married a lovely Chinese girl - enough. We are former KAOS, we don't reminisce here!

• Siegfried : Tonight, to exact my revenge, I have a nuclear missile aimed directly at one of your major cities.

  Chief Maxwell Smart : Which one?

  Siegfried : The city that contains your greatest minds and most brilliant thinkers.

  Chief Maxwell Smart : Hm. Well, at least Washington is safe.

• Chief Maxwell Smart : Give it up, Siegfried, you'll never get away with this.

  Siegfried : Why not?

  Chief Maxwell Smart : Because at this very moment there are 200 naval...

  Siegfried : [interrupting]  destroyers are headed this way. I know. Then I say I don't believe it, then you say something else again, then I say I don't believe it again and were right back to where we started.

  Chief Maxwell Smart : And I thought my wife knew me.

• Siegfried : [Max is turning Siegfried's light-up globe which doubles as a remote control for the nuclear missile]  Get away from my world!

  Chief Maxwell Smart : It's not your world yet, Siegfried.

• Chief Maxwell Smart : When you've dealt KAOS as long as I have, you know that it's the old sniper in the catwalk trick or the old gunman in the crate

  [waves gun towards crate, it accidentally fires] 

  Chief Maxwell Smart : ... sometimes both.