- Michel: [Sookie's doctor put her on bed rest for her pregnancy] Well, we need Sookie here.
- Lorelai: Well, Sookie's not gonna be here, so let's go to plan B.
- Michel: Ok, plan B, that involves Sookie's clone also named Sookie.
- Lorelai: Well, um, who here makes the sauces?
- Michel: Sookie.
- Lorelai: Who here, Michel?
- Michel: Sookie trusts no one else with the sauces, she makes the sauces.
- Lorelai: Well, what does Mark make?
- Michel: Salads.
- Lorelai: Ok, and Donnie does desserts, what do our other guys do?
- Michel: Well, that man does the cleaning, that man over there dresses the plates, that man uses tongs and... I have no idea what that man in the corner does but I will check his trunk before he leaves.
- Lorelai: So without Sookie here we have salads and desserts?
- Michel: Pretty much.
- Lorelai: We can't run a restaurant serving just salads and desserts.
- Michel: I will not go to it, no.
- Lorelai: Wait, ok, here we have ducks, who here does the ducks?
- Michel: Nobody touches the ducks.
- Lorelai: Well, um, starting now someone has to touch the duck.
- Michel: I do not know what to tell you, except it will not be me.
- Lorelai: This is bad Michel.
- Michel: I'm getting that, yes.
- Lorelai: Well, we'll just figure something out, right?
- Michel: Absolutely, ain't no mountain high enough.
- Lorelai: Just formulate a plan, nail down a strategy. Any ideas?
- Michel: We could order a pizza, some chinese food or one of those hoagies that you cut into a million pieces...
- Luke Danes: [after a fight with Sookie about the duck sauce, Luke runs upstairs and is shocked when he discovers that Sookie has been in bed rest upstairs taking all the food] I knew it! Are you insane?
- Sookie St. James: Well, you wouldn't take my calls.
- Luke Danes: How long have you been up here?
- Sookie St. James: Since you made me promise that no food would leave the premises. Well, here I am, keeping my promises. Pedro, give me the ladle.
- Luke Danes: Pedro, do not give her that ladle.
- Sookie St. James: Give me the ladle, Pedro.
- Luke Danes: You're scaring Pedro.
- Sookie St. James: [Pointing to Luke frustratingly] You're scaring Pedro!
- Luke Danes: All day long, things are disappearing, salads are suddenly gone. Lamb chops don't make it to the table.
- Sookie St. James: I had to make sure you were doing it right!
- Luke Danes: You're supposed to be home!
- Sookie St. James: No, I'm supposed to be in bed, and I'm in bed. And you said you would double strain the duck sauce and you, my friend, are not double straining!
- Luke Danes: There'll be no more of us. No more calls, no more questions, no more ladles that leave that kitchen. I don't care what bed you're in. That is between you and your husband, and god I hope a qualified therapist, but you will not interfere with me anymore. Period.
- Luke Danes: Hey, that's it, I've had it!
- Lorelai: You've had what?
- Luke Danes: [in anger] She's a crazy woman and now she's upstairs, and ladles are mysteriously flying out of the kitchen.
- Lorelai: Who's upstairs?
- Luke Danes: Sookie's upstairs!
- Lorelai: No, Sookie's at home.
- Luke Danes: No, Sookie's supposed to be home and then, I didn't strain the sauce twice, so she came here to drive me crazy and she bought her loony husband with her!
- Lorelai: Jackson's here? How am I missing all this?
- Luke Danes: I don't know, and I don't care, I'm through. I'm not taking this anymore!
- Lorelai: What do you mean you're not taking it anymore? What are you gonna do?
- Luke Danes: You know what I'm gonna do? Nothing, because I'm in a relationship with you, and you know very well I can't leave. All I can do is come out here, say I'm through, and pretend I have a leg to stand on, and then march back into that kitchen and keep doing the job although I gotta be thinking about what I would've done if we were in a relationship even though that would mean I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. Excuse me!
- Rory Gilmore: Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a shirt with a rhinestone penis on it and my grandma had her car towed.