- Zack Van Gerbig: No true rock 'n' roller goes to college!
- Rory Gilmore: Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.
- Zack Van Gerbig: What?
- Rory Gilmore: Yeah, and, uh, Dexter Holland of The Offspring got his PhD in molecular biology at USC. Greg Ginn of Black Flag graduated from UCLA. The guy from Bad Religion got his masters in geology from UCLA, and he's working on his PhD in evolutionary biology at Cornell.
- Rory Gilmore: [visiting from Yale to find the house's new alarm blasting] I can't even believe there's a security company in Stars Hollow. Nothing ever happens here!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Oh that is not true. Plenty happens here.
- Rory Gilmore: Like what?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Like, people now break into your houses and install alarm systems.
- Rory Gilmore: I heard about that.
- Lorelai Gilmore: And we have a new mail carrier.
- Rory Gilmore: We do?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yeah. So now, if you want to get your mail, you have to go see Miss Patty.
- Rory Gilmore: Why?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Cause that's where he brings it. He brings Babette's mail to Andrew, Norma's mail to the deli, and Taylor still hasn't found his mail, which I have to admit is kinda fun.
- Rory Gilmore: I rescind my previous statement. This place is hopping.
- Luke Danes: There is no fate.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What do you mean there is no fate! Of course there is fate!
- Luke Danes: There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing, you cannot read a palm, tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis. And the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I totally knew you were gonna say that.
- Luke Danes: I came over here, my fault.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I read your mind! It spoke to me! We're psychic!
- Luke Danes: Enjoy the fries.
- Lorelai Gilmore: [Taylor is making Lorelai's renovation project difficult] That's it!
- [She grabs Taylor's lapels]
- Taylor Doose: Lorelai, watch it. I've got church later.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What did I do to make you torture me like this, Taylor?
- Taylor Doose: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Lorelai Gilmore: The hoops! The hoops with the jumping and the fire and the hoops!
- Taylor Doose: It's just business, Lorelai.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I pay to shop in your store. I eat your banana splits. I've never physically hurt you... except for that one spit wad in the one town meeting, but I didn't mean for it to hit your eye and I apologized profusely, so please, please, put me out of my misery and tell me what I need to do to make this thing happen!
- Taylor Doose: I want an ice cream truck!
- Lorelai Gilmore: What?
- Taylor Doose: I want to sell ice cream off a truck in the summer. I want to park it in front of the soda shop. I want to ring the bell on it every day at noon, but the only place I can park it is the space that's partly in front of Luke's diner.
- Lorelai Gilmore: So?
- Taylor Doose: You have pull with Luke.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I guess, maybe.
- Taylor Doose: You're friends.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yes.
- Taylor Doose: You can get him to agree to this.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Use my pull.
- Taylor Doose: If you don't mind.
- Lorelai Gilmore: So if I get Luke to agree to this, the madness stops?
- Taylor Doose: If that's what you want to call it.
- Lorelai Gilmore: The work begins and the porch goes?
- Taylor Doose: All expedited, nice and neat.
- Lorelai Gilmore: An ice cream truck?
- Taylor Doose: An ice cream truck.
- Lorelai Gilmore: [She lets go of Taylor] You can go.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Kirk, please, what can we do right now? The alarm is just so loud.
- Kirk Gleason: Yeah, that's my fault too. I asked Jimmy to really crank it up.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Well, he did.
- Kirk Gleason: If you're gonna have an alarm, you need it loud. You don't want some crazed knife-wielding gunman at your throat, and the neighbors are going, like, "Is that a fan? Did I leave the water running?" You want them to know, hey, that's an alarm.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Your imaginary attacker has a knife *and* a gun?
- Kirk Gleason: And a really dirty tank top.