- Emily: [Dean has honked, as arranged, when picking up Rory] It certainly is not fine. This is not a drive through, she's not fried chicken.
- [Emily insists that a snack she prepared was one of Lorelai's favorites as a child, which Lorelai doesn't remember]
- Lorelai: Let me give it a try.
- Emily: All right.
- [Lorelai takes a bite]
- Lorelai: Hmm.
- Emily: Yes?
- Lorelai: It's even more disgusting than I thought it was going to be.
- Emily: Oh, it is not.
- [Emily takes a bite]
- Emily: Oh my God, it's horrible! What on Earth was I thinking?
- Rory Gilmore: Hey Sookie, look.
- Sookie St. James: [gasps] Oh, my goodness. You're a movie star! I'm serious. At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases.
- Dean Forester: [Tristan hits on Rory] What the hell do you think you're doing?
- [pushes Tristan]
- Tristin Dugray: You will NOT push me again.
- Dean Forester: Are you seriously trying to act tough? You're wearing a tie, for God's sake!
- Tristin Dugray: Outside, now!
- Dean Forester: I'm not fighting you! It'd be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done.
- Emily: [after Rory accidentally fell asleep with Dean in Miss Patty's dance studio] Lorelai, get up, now! Right now!
- Lorelai: [trying to wake up] What?
- Emily: Rory's not home!
- Lorelai: Rory's what?
- Emily: I sat on that chair all night. I dozed off for 1 second and the next thing I know, it's 5:30 and she's not here.
- Lorelai: [walks around the house looking for Rory, then looks for the phone] Rory?
- Emily: She's not there! Aren't you listening?
- Lorelai: Rory. Rory?
- Emily: Where's the phone? Call the police. What are you doing? Call the police, call the police!
- Lorelai: MOM, STOP IT!
- Emily: What are you doing?
- Lorelai: I'm looking for the phone. What do you think I'm doing?
- Emily: When did you ever clean up around here? This is an emergency and you can't find the phone. What if there was a fire? Or what if Rory was choking?
- Lorelai: Mom, stop yelling.
- Emily: Rory is missing!
- Lorelai: I know that, and your yelling is not helping me!
- [the phone suddenly rings]
- Lorelai: Rory? Oh, Patty. What? Ok. Thanks. Thank you so much. Ok, bye-bye.
- [relieved]
- Lorelai: Rory's ok.
- Emily: Where is she? What happened?
- Lorelai: She and Dean were at Miss Patty's.
- Emily: What is that, a motel?
- Lorelai: It's a dance studio. That was Patty. She said that she found them asleep, woke them up, and Rory's on her way home.
- Emily: And what state were they found in?
- Lorelai: She didn't say, ok? Let's just be calm until we know what happened.
- Emily: What do you mean until we know what happened? We know what happened!
- Lorelai: No we don't.
- Emily: They were out all night!
- Lorelai: I'm gonna make some coffee.
- Emily: Lorelai Gilmore, I've watched you do stupid things in your life and I held my tongue.
- Lorelai: [sarcastically] You what?
- Emily: I will not stand by and let you allow that girl to ruin her life.
- Lorelai: [gets a coffee filter out of the cabinet] Mom, back off!
- Emily: She spent the night out with that boy, the one you let her run off to that dance with.
- Lorelai: Mom, so help me to God, I will not get into this with you.
- Emily: She did the same thing you did.
- Lorelai: No she's not.
- Emily: She'll get pregnant.
- Lorelai: No she's not.
- Emily: She's gonna ruin everything just like you ruined everything.
- Lorelai: [angrily] No she's not, no she's not, no she's not! Rory is a good kid, Mom! She's not me!
- Emily: What kind of mother are you to allow this to happen?
- Lorelai: I don't know, Mom. What kind of mother were you?
- Emily: [Lorelai and Emily continuously fight over Rory and Dean being out all night, which leads to them figuring out who's been the worse mom] You're gonna lose her. You're gonna lose her just like I lost you.
- Lorelai: I'm not gonna lose her, do you hear me? Even if I had gotten pregnant, you still would've lost me. I had nothing in the house. I had no life. I had no air. You strangled me. I do not strangle Rory.
- Emily: Oh, you're so perfect and I was so horrible. I'd put you in good schools. I gave you the best of everything. I made sure you had the finest opportunities. And I am so tired of hearing about how you were suffocated and I was so controlling. Well, if I was so controlling, why can I control you running around getting you pregnant and throwing your life away.
- Lorelai: Get out.
- Emily: What?
- Lorelai: [Rory arrives home coming in the door and overhears the argument] You will not come in to my house and tell me I threw my life away! Look around, Mom. This is a life! It'll look unfamiliar to you but it's a life. And if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have Rory.
- Emily: You know that's not what I meant.
- Lorelai: Maybe I was some horrible and controllable child, like you say, but Rory is a good kid. She's smart and careful and I trust her and she's gonna be fine. And if you can't accept or believe that, then I don't want you in this house!
- Rory Gilmore: [Lorelai prepares the coffee pot as Emily barges out of the house] Mom, thank you for saying all this...
- Lorelai: What were you thinking? Staying out all night, are you insane?
- Rory Gilmore: I'm sorry. It was an accident.
- Lorelai: You're talking to the queen of staying out all night. I invented the concept. This is no accident. You can't do this, period.
- Rory Gilmore: Nothing happened.
- Lorelai: Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up with my mother here and find out that you never came home?
- Rory Gilmore: So all this is about Grandma being here?
- Lorelai: No, it's about the feeling of a complete terror when your kid isn't in her bed in the morning?
- Rory Gilmore: [desperately] I'm sorry.
- Lorelai: And it's about a whole different kind of terror when you find out that she spent the night with some guy!
- Rory Gilmore: I didn't spend the night with him. We fell asleep.
- Lorelai: You're going on the pill.
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Lorelai: You are not getting pregnant!
- Rory Gilmore: I'm not sleeping with Dean!
- Lorelai: Damn it!
- Rory Gilmore: What ever happened to all the stuff you said Grandma? What ever happened to trusting me? Where did all that go?
- Lorelai: I think it's back on Patty's yoga mats.
- Rory Gilmore: This is crap! You know I didn't do anything! You know this was an accident! You're just mad because I screwed up and did it in front of Grandma and she nailed you for it. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I screwed up and I'm sorry that you got yelled at, but I didn't do anything, and you know it!
- [slams her bedroom door. Lorelai sits down crying]