- [at Luke's diner]
- Lane Kim: You cannot put those flyers in here! I'm surprised my mother told you that you could, but you can't! So, go stand on a street corner like I had to do ages six through fourteen! Go!
- [Kyon does not leave]
- Lane Kim: What?
- Kyon: I'm so hungry.
- Lane Kim: What?
- Kyon: It's flaxseed muffin month. Flaxseed muffin in the morning, flaxseed muffin at night - I have trouble lifting my toothbrush.
- Lane Kim: Okay, come here.
- Kyon: Not fast, please.
- Lane Kim: Sit.
- Kyon: She made a lot food with flaxseed; it last very long time.
- Lane Kim: [presenting a plate of french fries] Here.
- Kyon: What are these?
- Lane Kim: Fries.
- Kyon: But Mrs Kim, she says the fries are the devil's starchy fingers.
- Lane Kim: They're hot and delicious, and they don't have any flaxseed in them.
- Kyon: But they are gateway food. They lead to harder things: pizza, movie popcorn, deep-fried Snicker bar...
- [Lane holds the fries up under Kyon's nose]
- Kyon: Ooo.
- [Kyon hesitantly takes a bite]
- Kyon: Mm!
- [giggles]
- Lane Kim: Welcome to America.
- Logan Huntzberger: So, who's it going to be?
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Logan Huntzberger: Well, this shindig is an obvious meat market. I get the feeling your grandparents are expecting you to choose someone tonight. So...
- Finn: Me! Pick me.
- [Falls on one knee, presenting Rory with flowers and champagne]
- Colin McCrae: No, me.
- [All the other guys in the room join in, saying "Pick me!"]
- Finn: But I'm exotic!
- Colin McCrae: So is the Asian bird flu!
- Logan Huntzberger: Wow. A room full of guys and still extremely slim pickings.
- Mrs. Kim: [Yelling at Zack] You! You dirty, filthy devil boy! You will pay for this! You will burn in the hellfire for this! You will swim in the sludge with Satan's helldogs and feed them your innards for eternity! She is an innocent girl, and you are a wild pig of filth!